Beware of Soothing Words that Don't Line up with God's!

Psycho-babble and the Bible Don't Mix.

Many of today’s popular Bible teachers equate sinful patterns with not loving one’s self enough, or having shaky self-esteem. In one recent women’s Bible study, the following “conditions” were listed as being rooted in insecurity: jealousy; envy; promiscuity; manipulation; and unbelief. By contrast, the Bible uses the term “sin” for each of these tendencies and links them to pride.

Scripture warns repeatedly against a prideful spirit – the fruits of pride are innumerable and poisonous. Insidious forms of pride fuel both anorexia and bulimia. As a Christian anorexic or bulimic, the guilt and shame you feel over your behavior is instinctive. Even if you are unaware that your weight (and/or food) have become idols, you carry a general realization that you are doing something wrong. No one needs to tell you that your eating disorder is not within God’s will for your life, regardless of how you may have attempted to privately justify it. The Holy Spirit will only let you get away with that for so long. Still, it cannot be emphasized enough that His conviction of rebellion against God is merciful, not condemning. The correct response is to repent of this idol and turn away from the behavior, ultimately being freed from guilt and shame. God will help you and subsequently renew your mind. Sometimes, however, Christian counselors will inadvertently short-circuit the Holy Spirit’s work by telling the client she is carrying “false guilt” or suggesting that spiritual conditions are “diseases”.

In “The Zippered Heart: Healing for the Secrets We Hide Inside,” Christian psychologist and Women of Faith author Marilyn Meberg writes about a bulimic pastor’s wife who hid her secret from those around her, finally seeking inpatient treatment at a Christian facility.

“One of the biggest changes in Becky’s thinking was to realize that she didn’t deserve to wear the shame banner. Her depression had an environmental root; it was not a sin and it was not her fault. Her challenge was to face her issues and be healed from them. Her bulimia was not a sin either. It was one of the many expressions of all the childhood pain she had never resolved. At Remuda that process of understanding and healing began.” (Emphasis mine).

While I appreciate the compassion and loving concern that Meberg brings into her counseling, I believe she is doing women a grave disservice by telling them their bulimia is not a sin (elsewhere in the book she denies that masturbation is always sinful). God extends grace to us, as we must to each other. The erring brother (or sister) must be restored gently, (Galatians 6:1), but she must be restored. A Christian unable to stop destroying the tissues of her God-given body by self-starvation or purging needs a renewed mind, not soothing words.

When I first read the above-paragraph in 2001, I was shocked. Still stuck in the bondage of bulimia myself and despairing of ever overcoming it, these words were exactly what my itching ears wanted to hear. Unfortunately, they were not what I needed to hear – I needed hope that I could repent and be forgiven. I needed to know that I could confess my bulimia as sin, fully repent of it, and walk away clean and forgiven. Although I had tried before, I needed to know that I could try again – and that God would grant me the gift of true repentance. I knew that as sweet and sincere a Christian as Ms. Meberg may be, on this issue she was off base. I began reading the Bible again.

How Ms. Meberg knew that the woman’s depression “had an environmental root” escapes me. As a born-again believer, she must have known her bulimia was a sin (hence the “shame banner”); therefore, is it not logical to conclude she was depressed over her inability to overcome this sin? The way to be free from this shame is by turning away from sin and to Christ. There are no shortcuts around it – as long as we choose to stay in our sin, we will be carrying this sense of shame. Unfortunately, in their zeal to make Christians “feel good” about themselves, some counselors re-name sinful behaviors “issues” and talk about “understanding” and “healing” rather than repentance. God is clear in His Word: if we repent, He will heal us Himself (Isaiah 53:4; 2 Chronicles 7:14). As Charles Spurgeon put it, until we have felt the noose of sin around our necks, we will not weep with joy when Christ cuts the rope.

True repentance is a gift, and yields lasting freedom and joy. Praise God for His mercy and long-suffering character!

A 13-Year-Old's Synopsis

Last week, I had a lengthy discussion with the author editing my book on the content and format of one of its chapters, "What About Counseling?" I had originally devoted three chapters in the manuscript to discussion of the hollow, deceptive philosophy of behavioral psychology; the atheist roots of psychoanalysis; and the influence of Freud, Skinner and Maslow in contemporary addiction therapy.

"Whoa!" said she. ("Whoa!" is, according to Jay Adams, the most important word in biblical counseling). "Let the Bible speak for itself," she counseled. "You need to spend more time showing the reader what the answer is from Scripture; how GOD is going to help them, than on all these other things." She was right, of course. I condensed my warning about contemporary psych-based treatment down into one chapter, and augmented it by a thorough expanation of why counseling from the Bible alone is more helpful in bringing about true transformation. No rabbit trails (no matter how fascinating) allowed.

It was still too "heavy". She told me to use more Scripture, quote Reformers and other writers less than I quote Christ, and above all "stop writing like a PhD - you're going to lose your audience." Good point. She instructed me to strive for a seventh grade reading level, which was excellent advice, as not every Christian lady struggling with an eating disorder has been to Bible college (or graduate school). My assignment? To re-write, and have several ladies read it and comment on clarity and "flow".

I enlisted my 8th-grade daughter's help. Valentina is a bright kid, but she's never been to seminary - nor has she studied psychology (although I suspect that is coming, as she is a public school student. Sigh). I do feel that my mission has been accomplished....having never yet looked at my book, or really knowing my thesis, she not only appeared to "get the point", but was able to articulate it well, too:

I think the author’s main point was to talk about Biblical counseling vs. the therapy or psycology that the world today uses in order to get rid of peoples’ problems. She was saying that you can’t deal with the addiction yourself, and the Biblical counselor can’t either, because he/she isn’t God. Only God can help you, and you have to repent from your sin in order to change. It’s not like God is just going to change you in one day. You have to work too, although only God can heal you from your addiction. However, the counselor is there to guide you and help you understand the Bible.

3. What do you remember BEST about the chapter? In other words, when you finished reading, what stood out in your mind the most?

When I finished reading the chapter, I remembered when you talked about how addictioons ARE NOT diseases, but they are sins, and we are sinners. People today try to blame everthing and anything on somebody else, because they are to prideful to admit that the addiction is their fault. So, they blame it on their childhood or genes in their body which obviously aren’t the reasons to an addiction.

Well put. Maybe I should just have her write this book.