Freedom from Eating Disorders (Laurie Glass)

Freedom from Eating Disorders

Dear readers,

I often refer you to God-honoring, biblical books or online resources to help you in your walk of repentance away from anorexia or bulimia, and today I would like to feature one such ministry. Laurie Glass, who I met online, is a sister in the Lord who also ministers to Christian women struggling to leave their disordered eating patterns behind. Laurie has an excellent website "Freedom from Eating Disorders" which has many links, articles, and helpful resources.

This morning's post (actually, I don't know when it was written but she shared the link on Facebook this morning) is an excellent exercise in renewing your mind and seeing this life-dominating sin for what it really is - an enemy. "Your Eating Disorder - Friend or Foe?" demonstrates Scripturally how when we choose to believe the lies that ensnare us in addictive behavior, the addiction to food and "weight-idolatry" takes center stage in our lives. Where is the Lover of our soul in the picture? Lie #6 rung especially true to me, as I remember my life a decade ago: "This enemy causes us to doubt God’s love for us. It makes us feel so ashamed before Him that we are too uncomfortable to even pray in regard to the eating disorder."

Oh yes, my sisters. Make no mistake about it: shame in a powerful weapon in Satan's arsenal.

Included on her site is Laurie's own testimony, as well as that of others; helpful Scriptures, and links to Christian counseling resources. I encourage you to check out some of the great articles she has posted, as well.

Book Review: What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life

The Biblical Counseling Coalition published my review of Dr. Ed Welch's latest book a couple of weeks ago. I am sharing it here, as fear of man and insecurity is a common problem with which anorexics and bulimics grapple. Be sure to visit the BBC site and see the original review here. 

What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life by Ed Welch

Review by Marie Notcheva March 27, 2013

In 1994, the editor at Reuter’s news desk in Sofia said he didn’t think I was a particularly good writer. Although I had won awards for journalism in college, I was stuck pulling stories off a news wire rather than writing real articles. Crushed by his assessment, it was another 10 years before I would write again. Even today, my confidence is fed by the praise (and Twitter-follows) of better-known authors. InWhat Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?, Dr. Ed Welch informs me that  I’m looking for “living water” in the wrong place – the eyes of others.

Reminiscent of Welch’s earlier When People Are Big and God is Small, What Do You Think of Me? is a concise, hand-on approach to insecurity geared towards teenagers and young adults.  Welch identifies the dilemma we all face: “You can easily be controlled by the opinions of others. Why? You want them to fill you with something. They have something you feel you need” (p. 38). We all try to obtain that “something” – acceptance, respect, or love – from other people. When this desire becomes a “need,” it controls us – an idol in the making.

Welch identifies the problem (we become controlled by others and their acceptance becomes our idol); then, like any good biblical counselor, gives hope from Scripture. Abraham, Isaac, and Peter were dominated by the fear of others, but were transformed.

How we respond to the basic questions of life – Who is God? Who am I? Who are others? – will determine how we respond to peer pressure, criticism, and rejection. At heart, we are all worshippers: “The thing or person you trust in is actually the object of your worship. Look carefully and you will see that what started off as a small concern about the opinions of other people has been supersized” (p. 39).

Welch discusses how good, loving relationships can go bad by comparing the God-given human desire for love to a 500-lb. gorilla demanding to be fed (p. 51). Welch demonstrates how everyday desires for approval and love can become things we desire inordinately – and lead to broken fellowship with God.

The Tao Versus Fear of the Lord

Dr. Welch is hardly the first to spot the problem arising from what the Bible calls “fear of man.” Lao Tzu said, “Care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner.”

Christianity, however, offers something much greater than simply absence of suffering or a vague “harmony with the universe” sought by Taoists. We are invited to know the Creator intimately as Father; be awed by His majesty; and love others freely without thought of reciprocation.  God’s way out is to know Him, as He is revealed in Jesus, in such a way that other people will seem less awesome in comparison. Being overwhelmed with Christ’s beauty breaks the “slavery” of being controlled by others.

While Welch writes primarily about being influenced by the negative opinions or expectations of others, a believer should also be on guard against seeking edification from others more than God.

I was reminded of this recently while talking with a friend. As believers, we are called to encourage and build one another up. Few things bring greater joy. “I am so happy and blessed to have people to comfort and encourage me,” Juxhin said. “But,” he pointed out,  “What comforts and encourages me the most is, of course, God himself.”

This confidence is what Welch calls “living in the throneroom of the King.” Realizing the magnitude of the Creator’s power and holiness diminishes the importance of others’ opinions – even good ones. Encouragement is nice. Comfort is welcome. But when other people fail to provide them, a high view of God’s holiness and personal knowledge of His grace meets all of our needs (Philippians 4:19).

“I’m with Him”

At times, some modern Reformed writing focuses so extensively on the glory of God, with lesser attention given to the more subjective or emotional side of man. This can leave an immature believer with the impression that he or she doesn’t matter to a God so unapproachable and holy.

Without a personal understanding of faith, God will seem distant to the teenager trying to “fit in,” or any other individual who craves His presence. Welch is a master at introducing the God Who pursues; Who cares; and Who comforts – personally and tenderly. He describes redemption as a gift so extravagant that it leads naturally to thankfulness and change. The answer to the question “Who Am I?” is one of allegiances. Identifying with Jesus, Welch says, is declaring “I’m with Him.”

 Remembering that we were created to live for God (not ourselves) clarifies our mission – to love other people; not seek love and acceptance for ourselves. Acknowledging that rejection still hurts, Welch notes that  it no longer controls us. “There is only one way you could want to love others more than they love you: realizing that you have been loved more than you could ever love in return” (p. 116).

Our Position and Identity in Christ

What does realizing our position in Christ have to do with being vulnerable? It frees us. The fact that we are fully known and deeply loved by the King dispels the paralyzing fear of being hurt by those we choose to love. It negates the need for reciprocation. It restores our joy. It makes intercessory prayer seem like a privilege, not a “to-do” list.

Drawing close leaves one vulnerable; it gives the other person power. But the security offered by being in relationship with the One Who loved us when we were His enemies makes others’ reactions incidental. We are free to love, simply and purely, because we have been pursued and loved first.

One strength of Welch is that although he is both a psychologist and a theologian, he sounds like neither when he writes to young Christians. He explains key biblical concepts (fear of the Lord; Federal Headship) in plain language a fourth-grader can understand. What Do You Think of Me? does not read like a commentary, but rather like an e-mail sent to encourage a friend.

He skewers the psycho-babble of “self-esteem” theory and “leaky love-cup” models, showing why such imagery is unbiblical (and ineffective). Welch maintains that the deepest human needs are seen in the prayers of Scripture, which begin and end by glorifying God (not exalting “self”).  By pointing back to the God of all comfort and His Word, Welch helps readers shed self-consciousness and insecurity resulting from preoccupation with others’ opinions. What Do You Think of Me? is an insightful book sure to help believers experience a deeper walk with Christ.

Marie Notcheva

Marie Notcheva (B.A., Print Journalism, Syracuse University) is a writer and biblical counselor from Massachusetts who specializes in eating disorders. She is a graduate of Jay Adams' Institute for Nouthetic Studies, and counsels at her home church, Heritage Bible...

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"Mending a Broken Heart"

This is a re-post of Lucy Ann Moll's review of "Mending a Broken Heart", Kc Hutter's memoir about her battle with alcoholism. As with my own bondage with alcohol and bulimia, Kc discovered that Jesus was not only "the answer", but that He had given His life to set her free and make her His own. I am re-posting it here as it is the most inspiring, truthful account I have read recently about overcoming life-dominating sin through the power of Christ's love.


Mending a Broken Heart: ADDICTION


When you hurt, you sometimes look for relief. . .in a bottle. This relief, this pleasure plays peek-a-boo. You see it then it’s gone, obliterated.

Kc Hutter, author of her memoir A Broken Heart, flirted with alcoholism. She began drinking during her first marriage while her husband traveled out of town week after week. She drank with friends. She drank when she wanted to feel better about herself. She writes, “I drank a lot of vodka and developed a ‘come here, go away’ personality. This made me feel safe.”

This is the sixth post in the “Mending a Broken Heart” blog series. You can read the other posts (on divorce, a child’s death, and other losses) here. You can learn more Kc’s book and buy it here.

Bondage Buster

An addiction is bondage of the heart and body to something that produces immediate pleasure and relief, but at a price. This bondage is to “feel good now.” Rather than submitting to Christ’s rule, an addict bows to the “feel-good” god that is her preferred object of achieving pleasure and relief, however fleeting.

Indulging in it becomes the addict’s greatest treasure, the one thing she’d choose over anything or anyone else.

Her body deteriorates over time. Her soul experiences pain with each indulgence.

By God’s grace, a self-described “booze-happy” woman — yes, Kc — who had become a Christian and read the Bible and prayed to Jesus finally hits bottom and turns to the ultimate Healer for help. Listen:

Holding a glass of vodka with a floating olive had always made me feel glamorous. Isn’t this what actors do on TV and in the movies? At a cocktail party, a happy hour, or visiting a friend, I often heard, ‘Do you want a drink?’

After years of drinking, my stomach would hurt and my head pounded every morning. My heart filled with anguish and sorrow. What words did I say last night? Did I lose control and embarrass myself? I wondered.

Many times I tried to quit drinking on my own. All of my attempts failed, even thought I knew the pain of having a loves one killed by a drunk driver.

Finally I prayed, ‘Lord, take the need of alcohol from me, make the taste repulsive.’ The Lord heard and answered by prayers.

Yes, even Bible-reading Christians succumb to addiction. Easy to break the chains of bondage? No. But God can and will pull you out of the pit when you submit to Christ’s rule.

Beyond Booze

You can become addicted to almost anything: food, sexual gratification, exercise, money, power, praise, shopping, pain pills, and so on. It’s idol worship. In the life of an addict, Christ is rejected and sin becomes master. People will be ruled by something. It’s our nature

The addiction cycle begins when a person wants to avoid pain or feel pleasure–or both. She medicates her distress and discomfort.

She indulges without concern for the consequences. Sometimes her conscience is pricked; a warning flag waves, a Holy Spirit correction. If ignored, and she indulges, she will get a momentary lift or numbness. Then reality sets in: Her indulgence failed to solve her problem; it only make it worse. Shame and regret, regret and shame.

What to do?

Seek pleasure? Avoid pain?

If she indulges again and again, the addiction cycle becomes entrenched. A sick pattern. Depending on the substance of addiction, she may develop a physiological dependence and experience symptoms of withdrawal without it.

The problem is deeper than physiology, however. It’s a spiritual disorder of disordered worship.

The Answer

In A Broken Heart, Kc outlines the “how” of breaking the bondage of addiction. You read it up top and I repeat parts here:

1. Kc recognized booze enslaved her, and she experienced healthy guilt leading to repentance: My heart filled with anguish and sorrow.

2. She realized the futility of her way of dealing with her addiction: Many times I tried to quit drinking on my own. All of my attempts failed.

3. She asked God for help, humbling herself while she worshiped God: Finally I prayed, ‘Lord, take the need of alcohol from me, make the taste repulsive.’

Please do not misunderstand me. Shaking an addiction is difficult. Kc tried many times, remember?

My mom was addicted to cigarettes and managed to quit a handful of times, only to light up. Again. She died on a frigid January night long ago. Heart disease by puff after puff after puff –this is what her cardiologist told me, in nicer terms. I wish I could have held her hand when she breathed her last. I love her so.

Me? I confess to people-pleasing. An addiction to what others think of me. I have repented of this ugliness and once in a while I return to this vomit like a dog, and repent again.

I rejoice with Kc that vodka never got a hold of her again. She asked God to make alcohol repulsive to her. He did. And she found healthy God-honoring ways to deal with her pain. You can too. Do you believe this?

About Kc and New Life

Kc was brought up in the church but did not have a personal relationship with Jesus until after her second divorce. She told the Lord in prayer, weeping and clutching her uncle’s Bible: “I’ve made such a mess of my life doing it my may. I forgot how much you love me. Forgive me.” God gave her the strength to pen a memoir and the hope to guide those who are hurting and without hope to the Mender of Broken Hearts.

Kc is married and lives in Washington State. She is the mother of two adult sons, one of whom died of cancer and is now with the Lord, and a grandmother.

A Few Questions

1. Have you or a loved one struggled with an addiction? A substance like alcohol or cigarettes? Or an addiction like people-pleasing?

2. How has addiction pulled you down? Financially? Relationally? Emotionally? Spiritually?

3. Are you willing to denounce your addiction and choose to put God first in your life?

Hope for You

Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife?

Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises?

Who has bloodshot eyes? Those who linger over wine,’

who go to sample bowls of mixed wins. . ..

In the end it bites like a snake

and poisons like a viper.

(Proverbs 23:29-30, 32, NIV)

David Tyler on a Biblical View of Addiction

HT: Glenn Chatfield

"We have psychologized the preaching of the cross in our day. The message of the cross today is laden with psychological euphemisms. Sin is called sickness and is denied implicitly or explicitly. Recovery has replaced repentance. A therapeutic cross is preached, where feelings, happiness, self-esteem and psychological healing are celebrated.

"In spite of the fact that evangelical churches have grown in numbers, size and ministries, there has nevertheless come a hollowing-out of conviction. The loss of the belief in the sufficiency of Scripture has led to an erosion of morals. While churches have grown larger in stature and in number, they have diminished in character and quality. Secularism’s intrusion in the evangelical church has caused it to lose its moral bearings. The Divine is replaced by the human (ungodliness) and righteousness by the therapeutic (unrighteousness). The old quest of godliness is replaced by a quest of psychological wholeness. Psychological wholeness is the substitute for godliness and is therefore ungodliness. It inevitably leads to more unrighteousness, bad feelings and the search for self-understanding continues. Who are we now that we have lost our understanding of the nature of man? One psychology tells us one thing, another psychology tells us another. Do we surrender ourselves to a biological fate and admit we are just the sum of our genes?"

Dr. David M. Tyler, "God’s Funeral," p.91, 120

The answer to that last question is, of course, “absolutely not.” We need to go back to the Bible and get rid of all traces of secular psychology. After all, the Bible does declare that God has given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).

"Normalize" Bulimia? Heaven Forbid...

Dr. Ed Welch has an excellent post on the pervasiveness of bulimia and the nature of "control" its practitioners experience over at his blog. (Ed Welch, whose excellent study on repenting from addictions, "Crossroads",  I reviewed here, is one of my favorite authors and biblical counselors. He is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Education Foundation, aka CCEF. I am currently working on a review of his new book, "What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?").

Welch compassionately addresses the secretive nature of the bulimic behavior, and puts his finger right on the question a bulimic believer hates to ask herself:

First, if you have any interest in God, does the secretive essence of this behavior concern you? Secrets separate relationships. They separate friends and spouses, and become a private place in which you hide from God. 

 Second, has it improved your life? The answer to that is easy: no. But you say: “So what? It works for me.” Perhaps you feel as though nothing will improve your life so you might as well be thin while you go through the drudgery and misery.

Consider this from another angle. If you are a near-daily practitioner of purging, you are saying much more than “I want to be thin.” The word control is almost always a part of bulimic vocabulary. You have been controlled or dependent on the whims of people who treated you poorly, and you are sick of it. You live with incessant self-loathing and suicidal hopelessness and bulimia gives you some sense of control over this darkness. Its benefits, however, are ephemeral and fleeting. 

So what is the answer? How are we to face a God, when we feel He must be "disgusted" with us? Oh, how I wish someone had shared the Good News of grace with me back in 1989! Go read the rest of the post here: http://www.ccef.org/blog/bulimia-new-normal