Showing posts with label Elyse Fitzpatrick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elyse Fitzpatrick. Show all posts

5/30/11

Elyse Fitzpatrick on Bulimia and Overeating ("Women Helping Women")

The required reading for the biblical counseling course I am currently taking, "Counseling Women", is the nearly 600-page tome "Women Helping Women: a Biblical Guide to the Major Issues Women Face", co-authored by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Carol Cornish. This is a practical, Christ-centered book that addresses many issues - from counseling mothers of children with learning disabilities to those with addictions - but for the purposes of this blog, I would like to zero in on Chapter 16: "Counseling Women for Overeating and Bulimia".

Elyse Fitzpatrick has written much on the subject of eating disorders before, and has counseled many women to victory throughout her ministry. In reading this resource, I was encouraged yet again to see that I am far from the only one writing about bulimia from an exclusively, unapologetically biblical point of view. Elyse lays out the principles given in God's Word on food and eating at the begining of the chapter, affirming that God created food for nourishment and pleasure (Psalm 104:14-15; Acts 14:17). She also points out the biblical mandate of thanksgiving, and condemnation of asceticism (1 Timothy 4:3-5).

It is when we fail to regulate legitimate physical needs and pleasure under His guidance that we get into trouble. Declaring independance from God's commands - rebellion - takes several forms in individuals with sinful eating problems:

- using food to declare independance

- satiating own uncontrollable desires for pleasure (being unable to stop)

- frequently worrying about food and drink (violation of Matt. 6:31)

- failure to prioritize (seeking to fulfill desires before His kingdom and righteousness)

This type of backwards-thinking lets greedy desires grow unchecked, which is idolatry (Col. 3:5). Elyse notes that when sinful eating habits become a life-dominating pattern, the one enslaved is "worshipping" the false gods of Taste, Pleasure, and Self-Sufficiency. The antidote to this struggle with greed and the flesh is, of course, to remind the counselee (or one's self) that she is not alone in her struggle with greed (1 Cor. 10:13) as she learns to recognize this heart issue.

These self-centered desires must be replaced with biblical, God-honoring motives for change. Elyse lists (and elaborates on) five ways Christian women struggling with disordered eating must learn to think about their bodies:

1.) Being Conformed to the Image of Christ. Dress size is unimportant to God. Having our old nature fully transformed is His priority, and it must be ours, as well (Romans 8:28-29).

2.) Everything is to be for the Glory and Pleasure of God. Obedience by glorifying Him with our eating habits must be primarily for His sake; not ours alone. (1 Cor. 10:31).

3.) Your Body is the Holy Spirit's Home. We belong to Him, body and soul, and need to be good stewards. (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

4.) All of Life is His. No activity is morally neutral - not even eating. Avoid the temptation of separating life into the sacred and secular - even the most mundane activities are either acts of worship or irreverance. (Romans 14:23).

5.) He Redeemed You from Slavery. Don't jump back into the pit (Romans 6:12-13). Elyse writes,

"As you begin to develop correct motives, you must remember that although these habits seem overpowering at times, you can change because of the work of Christ. Remember that one of the results of the work of the Holy Spirit is "self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23)."

To help spot motivating factors of excessive or out-of-control eating, Elyse recommends recording every instance of undisciplined eating and the emotional dynamics involved. This helps counselor and counselee identify problem patterns and "triggers" to which Scriptural principles can then be applied (lies confronted with the Truth from God's Word; using the "put off/put on" dynamic to overcome temptation when it hits). Elyse fully acknowledges how compelling the binge is:

"As she begins the binge she may not even taste the food. She may not consciously think about what she is doing as she crams food into her mouth. She may lose track of time and how much she has consumed. She may sit in front of the television and concentrate on some meaningless program while she shovels in baked potatoes, cartons of ice cream, boxes of cereal, or bags of cookies. She will experience a certain pleasure (euphoria) from eating. The pleasure is not simply from the taste or texture of the food, or the chemical reaction of raised blood sugar levels, but it is an experienced release and calm that comes after a hurried and frantic self-indulgence....Make no mistake - this compulsion to binge is as strong as any faced by the habitual heavy drinker."

She is right...that is EXACTLY what a binge feels like. I would add, however, that the compulsion feels even stronger than that of a heavy drinker. (Christ granted me repentance from both life-dominating sins. Bulimia was definitely harder.)

As difficult as total restoration is, Elyse gives biblical hope that it IS indeed possible. Once the heart's sinful desires have been identified and rejected, additional spiritual disciplines Elyse recommends include reading, memorizing and meditating on Scripture; daily prayer; deliberate thankfulness; and moderate exercise in conjunction with controlled eating. With the accountability provided by the biblical counselor, she may then begin to focus on the changes God wants her to make (goal-setting).

It's Not Glamorous!

An interesting note Elyse made is one that I have also often expressed:

"Bulimia and its sufferers have received a lot of press lately, especially high-profile celebrities such as Princess Diana and Jane Fonda. As the behaviors and dangers of bulimia are glamorized by models and ballerinas who confess they have used these procedures to control their weight, many young women will try it out for themselves. Talking about it, "educating" the public, ironically will probably cause more young women to experiment with it. Since it seems popular to be bulimic now, we will see more and more of it in our counseling rooms. We need firm, clear, biblical answers that speak to the heart."

I cannot say 'Amen!' loudly enough! ("Women Helping Women" was published in 1997, in case you were wondering.) Elyse's words have proven prophetic: I cannot tell you how many girls and women I have counseled who got the idea from "The Dr. Phil Show", "Oprah Winfrey" or some other such program designed to "raise awareness" of dia-bulimia and so forth. (I myself first read about bulimia in a pre-teen girls' magazine back in 1982, and I decided to try it.) I am convinced this subtle glamorization (or at the very least, sensationalizing) of "cutting" and bulimic behaviors is a big part of the reason why they are so prevalent today.

Elyse also pin-points the problem with "labels" for behaviors such as bulimia in biblical counseling. Because it tends to promote the "disease model", a counselee may make the mistake of thinking she has a "disease".

"I have bulimia," may be used by some people in the same way as, "I have diabetes." Instead of saying, "I practice behaviors of bulimia," which is more accurate, she speaks about her bad habits as though they were something over which she has no control."

This is true, although for simplicity and clarity's sake, even we biblical counselors tend to simply use the terms "anorexic" and "bulimic" as they defione counselees with a certain pattern of behavior. Since we only counsel Christians, (with a potential counselee who is unsaved, we can only evangelize and pray), we generally assume the counselee realizes the behavior is sinful and this is the reason she has sought counsel. After a brief synopsis of the differences between somatic problems or organic abnormalities which impair physiological functioning and eating disordered behavior, Elyse continues:

"Presently in the U.S. there are many behaviors which are being popularly classified as diseases. Behaviors such as alcoholism, anorexia, and bulimia are thought to be real diseases by the general populace. True, there are certain physiological effects of continually practicing bulimic behaviors, but there are no known chemical agents, genes, viruses, or bacteria that cause this behavior. My point is this: Bulimia is not a disease. It is a behavior. The label "bulimic" tends to cloud this issue."

I would also add that the 'chemical imbalance' theory has been disproven since this book was written, as well. There are real chemical imbalances, but when they are identified, they are given names (such as hypothyroidism; diabetes melitus; etc.)

Other problems with labeling one a 'bulimic' include the tendency for a counselee to believe God needs to "heal" her for change to occur; believing one has an excuse for her behavior; and the tendency to turn one's eyes from the truth (one is a sinner) to a deceiving, yet more palatable, euphemism (one has a 'disease').

After outlining these hard truths, Elyse turns to the biblical solutions for overcoming compulsions (which she describes as "greedy habits".) One rebellious motive in bulimia is pride: a desire for the appearance of surface perfection. A woman practicing bulimia hides the consequence of a binge by purging; she is pursuing thinness by self-destructive means. She might give in to binges because of her own self-imposed legalism (such as a woman who goes home and binges after eating a peice of candy at work.) She has broken her own self-imposed rule ("Thou shalt not eat sweets") and feels like she has blown it; she needs to do penance by self-abasement. Elyse juxtaposes this dynamic with a God-honoring response: humble reliance and confession of sin; desire to love and serve God and others for His glory. Worship of a "perfect body" must be replaced by worship of the Living God and obedience to His commands through the empowerment of His Spirit. Elyse emphasizes repentance rather than penance. Bulimics tend toward the latter, indicating a misunderstanding of grace.

Progressive sanctification (being totally transformed inwardly as our behavior glorifies God more and more outwardly) requires diligence. "Putting off" ingrained habits of gluttony and purging and "putting on" thankfulness, trust, joy in the Lord and resisting temptation (no matter how strong) is absolutely possible for anyone who is in Christ. Elyse gives a detailed agenda and steps to take in counseling (including accountability) to help a woman honor God in this area of her life.

This book (and this chapter especially) is extremely practical, theologically sound and helpful for anyone struggling in her walk with Christ, including with addictive sins such as bulimia and binge-eating. (There is an additional chapter which deals with addictions more generally). Although it is written primarily to biblical counselors, if you yourself are struggling with bulimia or another eating disorder it would be an extremely helpful resource for you, as well. After all, the Holy Spirit is our Counselor, and His Word is the source of all counseling truth! All the authors have done is systematize what God has said about proper use of food in the larger context of glorifying Him in all things, and outline His principles for holiness. This is a truly helpful and edifying book.

7/11/10

Review: "Because He Loves Me"

Elyse Fitzpatrick is who I want to be when I grow up.

Of course, I mean that completely in the Ephesians 4:15 sense of "grow up". The ability to articulate the simple, profound truth of the Gospel and its implications for day-to-day life as beautifully as Elyse has in "Because He Loves Me: How Christ Transforms Our Daily Life" speaks of a real spiritual maturity. Her passion, from the first page of this encouraging book, is for her reader to have the same joyful, settled assurance of Christ's love that she herself has found in the pages of Scripture.

Why is it that so many of us recognize our need for the Gospel - the Person and work of Jesus Christ - for salvation; then slowly move past the Good News in our daily strivings to "please God"? We come to the Cross for justification, but practically live as if sanctification depended solely on us. Elyse spots this tendency - which often leads to a moralistic, defeated attitude - and reminds the reader of the only antidote: applying the finished work of Christ to our continually sinning hearts. Weaving the entire thread of Scripture around a central point - that God FIRST loved us - Elyse shows how getting this knowlege of His deep, abiding, personal and unfathomable love for us down into the very marrow of our bones completely changes everything. In fact, it transforms our whole identity - who we reckon ourselves to be.

If we see ourselves as "foster children", who can be evicted or abandoned at any moment, we will live like it. Realizing we are a permanant, cherished part of the family - His adopted children - transforms our hearts and enables us to live for Christ in His strength. As she writes on page 148, "Any obedience that isn't motivated by His great love is nothing more than penance." Well said.

How does the Gospel message impact our walk, 10, 20, even 30 years after our conversion, when we can rattle off the Doctrines of Grace like the days of the week?

"If we don't consciously live in the light of His love, the gospel will be secondary, virtually meaningless, and Jesus Christ will fade into insignificance. Our faith will become all about us, our performance, and how we think we're doing, and our transformation will be hindered."
This tendency to take our eyes of of Him and focus inwardly on our failure becomes a viscious cycle, especially when one is battling a life-dominating sin. Many of you bear witness to this fact. This week, I received the following in an e-mail from a reader:

"...I have been REALLY struggling again lately. I have trouble turning to God, because I feel sometimes like I don't deserve His forgiveness, or to ask Him for help. Lately I have been obsessing about food and eating all day long, and binging and purging A LOT! I work as a nanny, so I am alone with kids and in a house full of junk food I wouldn't buy, and have found myself unable to keep from destructive eating behaviors. Please pray for me that I will go back to Christ for guidance, and be able to truly repent for my sin. Please also pray that I will stop worshiping false idols of food and thinness, and instead live to glorify Him..."
(emphasis mine).

This young lady sincerely loves God and wants to please Him, but her words reveal that she has fallen into the trap so common to all of us: living as if our position before God is based on our own merit. When did any of us, in our "best" moments, EVER "deserve" His forgiveness? We didn't. Christ secured it for us - while we were still His enemies. We forget this. When we succeed, we feel good and can worship. Failure brings shame and a fear of approaching God, which naturally leads to more failure and despair. We are, as Elyse points out in this book, essentially not trusting God that He is as good as He says He is.

This is unbelief, and it leads to idols. When we don't feel fully secure in our position in Christ - solely based on His righteousness and grace - we seek the satisfaction that should be found in Him alone through counterfeits. Putting our trust in these "earthly treasures" leads to fear, worry, and anxiety - which leads us ever further away from the Cross. Freedom from fear comes from contemplating and remembering the love of God, manifested in Christ. As I have written before (and Elyse so much more articulately), change in our behavior can only come from truly realizing and appreciating who God is and what He has done for us. Knowing that His kindness is what has led us to repentance (Romans 2:4) motivates us to love Him back, and approach Him with confidence. Our 'identity in Christ' (as Elyse refers to it; I might use 'position') is permanent and irrevocable. It is what frees us up to walk in love.

In the final section of "Because He Loves Me", Elyse demonstrates how remembering and contemplating this unfathomable love God has for us is the true motivation for lasting change. She writes,

"Our natural unbelief will always cast doubt on His love for us. It is the awareness of His love and only this that will equip us to wage war against sin. Until we really grasp how much He loves us, we'll never be able to imitate Him. We won't come near to Him if we're afraid of His judgment. We won't repent and keep pursuing godliness if we don't believe that our sin doesn't faze His love for us one bit. We won't want to be like Him if we believe that His love is small, stingy, censorious, severe. And we'll never be filled with His fullness until we begin to grasp the extent of His love (Eph. 3:19). As a member of His family, you're the apple of His eye, the child He loves to bless. You're His darling."
"Every failure in sanctification is a failure in worship."

Far from minimizing the seriousness of sin, Elyse reminds the reader how costly it was to God - and invites her to rest in this reality. At the same time, we are thus enabled to "wage a vicious war against sin" - the imperative (command) that naturally follows the indicative (what God has already declared to be true). Every sin, from greed to sexual immorality, is a failure to love as we've been loved - at its root, unbelief. The key to walking in freedom and joy, then, is remembering that we're beloved children, redeemed by Jesus, set free from the power of sin. This settled confidence produces thanksgiving ane edifying speech, rather than complaining and bitterness. This is what applying the Gospel to every area of our lives looks like in practice.

I have been recommending "Because He Loves Me" to women who write me about their specific struggles, as well as counselors and anyone else who would benefit from the reminder of what Christ's perfect life, love, cross, resurrection and intercession really mean to us as we grow in Him. In short, everyone reading this would likely benefit from the encouraging and joyful explanation Elyse presents on the synergy of God's grace and our response. Like C.J. Mahaney's "The Cross Centered Life", "Because He Loves Me" trains the reader to reflect more deeply on the finished work of Christ on her behalf as a catalyst to worship, rather than presenting sanctification as a spiritual self-help plan.

See more about this wonderful book at the official website: http://beta.becausehelovesme.com/

9/29/09

Great Series from Elyse Fitzpatrick

This is a radio series listed on Biblegateway.com, where author and biblical counselor Elyse Fitzpatrick ("Love to Eat, Hate to Eat") discusses the reality of food bondage and how to live a life focused on God alone. The series, "Revive Our Hearts", first aired in 2004. Click title to take you to the page, then right click the links to download each individual talk. I'm far too lazy to embed each link individually.

Elyse Fitzpatrick is who I want to be when I grow up. :)

Radio Series: Love to Eat, Hate to Eat


Food is a major source of frustration and defeat for many Christian women, whether we eat too much or too little. Nancy welcomes author and counselor Elyse Fitzpatrick as they speak candidly about their own struggles with food and strive to help us understand this area from God’s perspective. Through this series, you’ll find hope, encouragement, and practical steps to developing a life that is focused on glorifying God and living free from bondage to food.

* Oct 27, 2004 - Is It an Illness or Is It Sin?
* Oct 26, 2004 - Food and Besetting Sin
* Oct 25, 2004 - Q and A About Eating Disorders
* Oct 22, 2004 - The Thankfulness Diet
* Oct 21, 2004 - Matters of Conscience
* Oct 20, 2004 - Hope After Failure
* Oct 19, 2004 - When Is It Wrong to Eat?
* Oct 18, 2004 - A Matter of Worship
* Oct 15, 2004 - Appetites and Answers
* Oct 14, 2004 - A Healthy Heart
* Oct 13, 2004 - More Than a Diet
* Oct 12, 2004 - Do You Need This Series?
* Oct 11, 2004 - Are You Preoccupied with Food?