When You Can't Say No (re-post)

This is a very good testimony/article on overcoming addictive over-eating from Teresa Shields Parker. It was originally published in Charisma Magazine.

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When You Can't Say No

1:00PM EDT 9/14/2015 TERESA SHIELDS PARKER

Teresa once weighed 430 lbs. Here's how God set her free from an addiction that led to losing 260 lbs. (iStockPhoto | ariwasabi)

Most do agree they have a strong need to regularly have sugar. It's just the "harmful" part they don't accept and the addiction label.

Risks of Obesity

Yet, sugar is a major cause of obesity and the obese are at risk for a large number of diseases including: diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, stroke, gallbladder and liver diseases, gynecological problems such as infertility, respiratory problems, sleep apnea and colon, breast and endometrial cancers, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Not only that, for many it has become an addiction. Using sugar has become a strong, harmful, regular, urgent, overwhelming desire.

Truth

I had not heard about sugar addiction when God pulled back my curtain hiding the truth. However, I knew I was as soon as I heard a 30-year sober alcohol say, "Alcohol is one molecule away from sugar. Alcohol is liquid sugar."

I asked the question. "Can a person be addicted to sugar like others are addicted to alcohol or drugs?" His answer was, "You can be addicted to anything that controls you."

Sugar controlled me. I knew it.

Surrender

That night I literally grieved thinking about giving up sugar, but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it was what I had to do.

I handed my desire for sugar to God. I surrendered it. I laid it on the altar.

I cried out, "God I give up, but I can't walk this journey on my own. I need You. I need Your strength. On my own I am weak. I will give in if you don't nudge me. In my moments of weakness, will you remind me? I need Your grace. I need Your power. I want to be free."

For the first time, I meant it.

Freedom

Today, I have lost 260 pounds only by the grace-power of God. It is for freedom that Christ has set me free. So I will stand firm and not let myself be entangled again by a yoke of bondage.1

Here is the truth, if God and I can do it, you and God can do it. God can do anything, you know.2

His grace is enough. It's all you need. His power is made complete in your weakness.3

Oh, and the word no? I've learned to say, "No," for my health and sweet freedom.

1 Galatians 5:1

2 Epheisans 3:20

32 Corinthians 12:9

Many ask me advice about weight loss. I've developed a myriad of resources available on my website under the free and the products tabs. But by far the best resource isSweet Change Weight Loss Coaching and Accountability Group. I developed this group to help those just like I was, who need someone who understands the difficulties of extreme weight, someone to coach them through the process, someone who understands this journey is not just about what you eat and how you move, it's also about why you eat and why you don't move.

We are tri-part beings. We are a spirit, a soul and a body. Our parts are dependent upon each other. Although the problem may appear in your body, it is also related to your mind, emotions, will and spirit. We don't shy away from the tough realities. We have to change. It's part of the process. Change starts inside and moves to the outside. Weight loss is the by-product of total transformation.

Join today and get Sweet Change 101: 7 Keys for the Weight Loss Journey FREE. GoHERE.

Teresa Shields Parker is a wife, mother, business owner, life group leader, speaker and author of Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds and Stopped Trying to Earn God's Favor and Sweet Grace Study Guide: Practical Steps to Lose Weight and Overcome Sugar Addiction. Get a free chapter of her memoir on her blog at teresashieldsparker.com. Connect with her there or on her Facebook page.

Freedom from Eating Disorders (Laurie Glass)

Freedom from Eating Disorders

Dear readers,

I often refer you to God-honoring, biblical books or online resources to help you in your walk of repentance away from anorexia or bulimia, and today I would like to feature one such ministry. Laurie Glass, who I met online, is a sister in the Lord who also ministers to Christian women struggling to leave their disordered eating patterns behind. Laurie has an excellent website "Freedom from Eating Disorders" which has many links, articles, and helpful resources.

This morning's post (actually, I don't know when it was written but she shared the link on Facebook this morning) is an excellent exercise in renewing your mind and seeing this life-dominating sin for what it really is - an enemy. "Your Eating Disorder - Friend or Foe?" demonstrates Scripturally how when we choose to believe the lies that ensnare us in addictive behavior, the addiction to food and "weight-idolatry" takes center stage in our lives. Where is the Lover of our soul in the picture? Lie #6 rung especially true to me, as I remember my life a decade ago: "This enemy causes us to doubt God’s love for us. It makes us feel so ashamed before Him that we are too uncomfortable to even pray in regard to the eating disorder."

Oh yes, my sisters. Make no mistake about it: shame in a powerful weapon in Satan's arsenal.

Included on her site is Laurie's own testimony, as well as that of others; helpful Scriptures, and links to Christian counseling resources. I encourage you to check out some of the great articles she has posted, as well.

Replacing Lies You Believe with God's Truth - an Exercise

From "Redeemed from the Pit" - 

Chapter 8 "Tempted Beyond What You Can Bear?" 

Putting On and Putting Off

As a bulimic begins to practice taking her obsessive thoughts captive to Christ, gradually they will decrease in frequency and intensity. Her behavior will begin to change. True repentance always leads to a steady (if sometimes gradual) decline in sin and improved behavior. As we turn from the old thought patterns that led us into slavery in the first place, the Holy Spirit imparts both the will and the strength to change our behavior. Paul describes this process as “putting off the sinful nature” (NIV, Colossians 2:11) or “lay[ing] aside the deeds of darkness and put[ing] on the armor of light” (Romans 13:12). In Ephesians 4:22-24 he tells believers to “lay aside” (“put off” in other translations) the old self and “put on” the new self – which, he goes on to say, “in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth”. In the likeness of God? Sounds like a tall order! But remember, He has equipped us and will help us grow. A couple of chapters later, Paul twice exhorts Christians to “put on” the armor of God. Clearly, Paul originated what biblical counselors call the “put off/put on” principle. 

Likewise, avoiding old patterns of behavior (such as using food for emotional reasons) will not bring about true, inward change unless those old habits are replaced with new, godly ones. Nature abhors a vacuum. Allowing God to pull up the roots of our besetting, habitual sin is the first step – but the next is to fill in the hole that remains with Christ-like behavior and thoughts. Of course, developing these God-honoring practices does not happen overnight, but they are cultivated as the Holy Spirit changes our hearts. If you are persistent in seeking God, He will give you the strength and desire to obey Him. Our behavior changes, because God’s love has first transformed our hearts and altered our thinking.

Paul gives us concrete examples of how we must consciously discard old tendencies and deliberately replace them in Ephesians 4:25-32. Let’s look at a few of the sinful habits he tells us to stop doing, and what we are to start doing instead:

Now, let’s take this principle and apply it to eating disorders. Most of the warnings and exhortations the Bible gives us are general enough to apply to any sin, because all sin ultimately is a heart issue. While Paul did not specifically have gluttony or self-abuse in mind when he penned his epistles,  Romans 8:13 is a goal all repentant anorexics and bulimics can share: “…if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live”. 

What specific attitudes and thought patterns can you identify which need to be “put off”? What actions? I mention thoughts and attitudes first, as they determine your outward behavior (Luke 6:45). As you prayerfully identify areas of your thought-life that are contributing to your eating disorder, ask God to show you biblical attitudes to “put on” in their place. I have listed a few suggestions to get you started.

© Marie Notcheva, 2011.

Conference Presentation - "God's Solution to Eating Disorders: Total Transformation"

Last weekend I spoke at the "Authentic Beauty" conference for teen girls at Monadnock Bible Conference in Jaffrey, NH. My workshop, which I gave twice, was entitled "God's Solution to Eating Disorders: Total Transformation" and was based upon Romans 12:1-2, the key passage on being transformed through the renewal of our minds.

It was a very successful and edifying time, well-received by the young ladies in attendance and enthusiastically recommended to their friends. What struck some of the girls the most was the truth that when a shameful secret such as bulimia is brought out into the light, it begins to lose its power to enslave. Also, the concept of no longer being slaves to sin (and therefore having the choice to repent of a life-dominating sin) was new to some of the girls. Several mentioned never having thought about eating disorders as something that could be overcome by "re-programming the mind" with God's thoughts.

All in all, it was a fruitful time of ministry, and the conference director asked me to come back to give the same presentation at conferences for adult women. If you are interested in purchasing and downloading my Power Point presentation and notes for use in your own church or ministry, (or my e-book, "Redeemed from the Pit",) please e-mail me at marie4thtimemom@yahoo.com. The presentation is a full hour and is available for $9.99.

Testimony from a Reader - to God Be the Glory

Dear Marie,

Your book is so great and God is using it in a mighty way in my life. Although it has been 25 years since I used/practiced/was trapped by bulemia, (I am 45 now) I have still never had freedom with food. For me, the battle of what to eat, what not to eat, how much to eat was swirling around in my head daily....all day. God started to show me several years ago how this is bondage and He intends freedom. This was no doubt blocking the freedom and also stifling fruit from mu life that could be glorifying Him.

Through this last summer (2011) this trouble with food and my self image reached an all time breaking point. I felt hopeless and frustrated - failures more and more frequent and more extreme, "success" in this area less and less frequent and less "successful". I have been using food as an emotional "security blanket" for as long as I can remember. As life goes on, I have used it more and more and can see this noose was getting tighter and tighter. I started attending and following the program of Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) in September. I've learned a great deal about myself and my issues with food from these few months and even many logistical things about planning and volume, etc. about food. But, from the start several things about this approach that I could not feel settled with. I kept feeling like God was definitely with me and helping me, I continued to feel called to freedom with Him - not with a program.

So, in November I googled something like "freedom beyond Food Addiction" and up popped your book - I ordered it right away and have had it ether in hand or close by ever since. There are more words underlined than not, there are pages turned down and notes covering the back cover and blank last page and in many margins. Thank you for writing it....thank you for all the time and research you have done to share all of this. Today I'll be calling the dear woman who has been voluntarily sponsoring me in this program to let her know I feel called to face this daily, hourly, by minute with God and am not going to continue "in program".

I live in ______ . (zip code xxxxx). I wish you lived here - I would love to meet you and ask you a million questions about your life and story. It is amazing the fire God set ablaze in you to learn about Him and his word. Thank you for sharing so much. Through you, God has given me much hope and direction.

Are You Blaming Your Sin on a "Disease"? (Tim Conway)

He's right.

Yoplait Commercials Encouraging Eating Disorders?

To their credit, Yoplait immediately pulled the ad after NEDA voiced concerns. (You can read the entire article here.)

Although it kills me to admit it, I actually agree - whole-heartedly - with the NEDA this time! President Lynn Grefe voiced the concerns well: "...what they saw wasn't a woman making a healthy food choice, but one who was caught up in a compensatory exchange about food. "This felt like a 20-second look at the mind of somebody with an eating disorder," she pointed out.

You be the judge:



While I wouldn't go so far as to say that a commercial by itself triggers an eating disorder, this sort of obsessing about food, calories, and thinness should never be portrayed as normal, desirable, or heroic. I say that, of course, from the world-view of a biblical counselor: we are to "set [our] minds on things above, not on earthly things" (such as calories in cheesecake!). No woman struggling against the bondage of eating disordered behavior (or thinking), Christian or non, should have to see this unhealthy and vain thinking thrust in her face, with the underlying message being "This is normal, positive, and desirable."

My advice to the young lady would be: "Just eat the cheesecake and get back to work. That's what your boss is paying you for" (Colossians 3:23).

Beyond Freedom from Food Addiction – Living for the Glory of God (Part 2 of 3)

Barb Winters, blogger of "Food: Lies We Believe and Truth that Sets Us Free" published Part II of my 3-part article on moving beyond simply food addiction into a life lived with the glory of God at the center. (See Part I below this entry). Next week, in the conclusion, we'll focus on the solution and how to renew our minds with the Word.
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What Hinders You?


If you struggle with over-eating, preoccupation with your weight and/or food, or a tendency to use food for emotional reasons, you probably realize very well that this is outside of God’s will for your life. You may even recognize that you are engaged in a spiritual battle (Eph. 6:12). You’ve read passages warning believers not to be “mastered by anything” but rather to “be self-controlled and alert” (1 Cor. 6:12; 1 Peter 5:8). And yet, as common as “food abuse” is, in the day-to-day we tend to think of it as a “common vice.” Unlike full-blown eating disorders, which are so clearly problematic that psychiatrists consider anorexia and bulimia “mental illnesses,” binge eating, emotional eating, and habitual eating fall under what author Jerry Bridges would term “respectable sins” because they are so prevalent in our society. This helps us rationalize these behaviors when temptation hits.

Is this your mindset? If so, know that you are not alone. It may help you to know that if you are bingeing or just eating out of habit, it is not a physical hunger you are trying to fill. Trying to “fill the void” with food is futile, so allow God to show you what it is you are seeking when you turn to it for satisfaction instead of to Him. Unless you see this temptation as a spiritual battle, you will not be prepared to fight it with the “shield of faith” and the “sword of the Spirit” (God’s Word).

Another hindrance to overcoming unhealthy eating habits is shame. Winston Smith, a CCEF counselor, recently wrote an excellent article on how shame over our sin keeps Christians from turning to the Cross – the very place we need to go! He writes,

“I’m sure Peter, like most of us, would rather figure out some way of cleaning himself. At least part of us would find prideful satisfaction in being able to take care of our own mess. But another sizeable part would like to avoid having another, especially Jesus, see our filth. And the thought of Jesus having to touch it . . . well, that makes us just want to say no.”

There is something about mis-using food that makes us want to run and hide. Among eating disordered patients, anorexia is “the goal” they all want to attain. No one aspires to be bulimic. Why? We see it as more “shameful” – bulimia, like binge eating, represents a loss of self-control. And it is shameful – as is all other sin. When we believe the lie that one sin is more abhorrent to God than another, we deceive ourselves that we are not worthy of His grace (no one is, but He grants it because He is gracious). Hiding in the shadows not only delays and complicates repentance, it is an affront to God’s character. We dishonor Him when we ignore or doubt His mercy, which is new every morning (Lam. 3:23).

Whatever the depth of your struggle, there is grace when you fail. God is waiting for you to get up, seek Him, and continue walking with Him by faith. You may think you are a disappointment to God, but think about it: He is omniscient. He already knew you were going to do “that”, and has already dealt with your sin. The way out is to accept grace, and keep “pressing on.”

Cycle of Failure - Will You Run FROM the Cross, or TO the Cross?

Marie,


I have gotten away from eating as I should. I seem to be in the pit again, and don't know how to get started. I feel like an alcholic who has fallen off. The guilt is incredible, and weighing me down again of failing. How do I get back to God, and walk in forgiveness when I cant even forgive myself.

What am I doing that I can not walk in freedom in this. I know that you were healed in about 6 months. I keep sinning, but do not know how to stop, I have a few good days, then I blow it, and never get back up- at least not for a while.

I want to be free of this, but don't know how to begin again, once I 've failed, or been in a cycle of failure...

This letter is typical of many e-mails I receive from Christian ladies struggling with binge eating and bulimia. My response:

There is definitely a way out of this, but it sounds almost as if you have run out of hope! Don't!! Hey, about failure - I want to share with you one thing that I've learned...that failure that keeps you in defeat and makes you essentially run from God (rather than towards Him, as He continually says "Come to Me"), is that worldly sorry (remorse rather than repentance).

It's what Judas did! That hit me today when I was driving to work; Judas and Peter both betrayed Jesus. They both were ashamed and felt guilt weighing them down. So, what was the difference? Judas ran AWAY from Him; ultimately self-destructing out of shame and misery. If he had truly repented, he would have gone to Christ - while He was on the Cross, even - and confronted the full horror of his sin. He would have been forgiven, even then.
Now, contrast that with Peter. We really don't know the exact details or time of when Peter repented; but we know that he did because he's with the other Apostles Sunday morning (they were all hiding out together); he's there in the Upper Room when Jesus appeared to them, and obviously he had become "right with God" before John 21's beachside picnic, because he jumped right out of the boat to swim to Jesus (and of course Jesus reinstated him in a sense; the past was finally laid to rest).

Sure, what these guys did seems way more dramatic than your struggle with eating, but there's a principle to be applied there: don't let the guilt of your sin drive you further down into defeat, or away from Christ. Don't believe the lie that it's too late or futile to repent. That's pride, and it cost Judas his very soul. Be like Peter -- by no means perfect, but willing to humble himself before his best Friend and confess that he needed Him.

You don't need to "forgive yourself". Just confess and repent of this sin, and trust that God has forgiven and cleansed you - because He has promised to (1 John 1:9) and God cannot lie (Titus 1:2).

Yes, it seems like you have all the right books, but any truth contained within them is not making its way down to your heart. It sounds from your note as if you are not spending much time renewing your mind in the Word, either...and subsequently your prayer life has suffered. I don't want to give you another book to read, but in Jay Adams' "Godliness Through Discipline" he explains biblically how we cannot expect to grow in sanctification without a measure of discipline. For a bulimic or habitual overeater in the process of transformation, that would include considering ahead of time (before you are in the middle of temptation) what you are going to eat, and how much. Prayerfully consider what your weaknesses are ("binge triggers"), and where and what circumstances are most likely to set you off.

Don't eliminate all carbohydrates, as that will cause cravings also, but avoid those sugary/fatty things that you are most likely to binge on. The One Who is in you is stronger than the one who is in the world...remember that prayer fortifies you, and being in Christ means that you are no longer a slave to sin. The only way to begin again is by repentance...it's not a one-time event. Tomorrow is a new day. Get out of that kitchen once you have finished a reasonable, healthy meal, and go spend time with God! That was a BIG factor in my breaking free - realizing where my idol was, and that Christ was far more beautiful than any temporary satisfaction that "idol" could offer.

Let me know how this week goes! Go back to God, humble yourself (again), and ask for His help. Establish an eating plan and prayer time, and stick to it. Discipline is key to growth (Proverbs 15:32).

In Him,
Marie

"How Do I Change When I Have an Eating Disorder?"

Dear readers,

This morning I received the following question from a young lady who deeply and passionately loves the Lord Jesus, yet struggles to repent of anorexia. I am often asked this question in one way or another, and so I will post my response to her, in its entirety, below. She writes:

Hi Marie,
I know this is a really basic question, but once you saw your eating disorder as a sin and repented and died to self so Christ can live in you, how then did you actions change, did it happen all at once or was it still a process over time?

My response:

Well, first of all, to really understand what repentance is and how to implement biblical change (of the heart, which affects our actions), we have to realize that AS we confess something as sin (agree with God), concurrently our actions will change. Yes, it's a process in the sense we are NOT perfected overnight (sanctification is progressive), but neither are we honoring God if we sit back, take a passive role in our sanctification, and expect Him to mysteriously change us. There is an interplay between God's sovereign power (the Holy Spirit convicts and encourages the believer towards holiness) and our responsibility (we must actively work against sin in our lives). The two go together.

Let me give you an illustration of how this might look in the life of someone struggling with the sin of drunkenness. This was, in fact, a sin in my own life, which I turned away from at the same time as bulimia. Since alcohol is a more "black and white" issue than food addiction, it might help to clarify the principle.

If a Christian is enslaved to alcohol, the Holy Spirit convicts him that he is in sin. He does this through the Word of God, and impresses that drunkeness is disobedience to Him. The Christian agrees with God, gets on his knees, and begs God to grant him repentance. His sin is forgiven, Christ has paid it in full! Weak though He is, the Christian wants to honor God by his actions, and so he resolves to stop drinking. This is true repentance; he does not try to rationalize his drinking or strike bargains with God: 'I'll drink in moderation; I'll only have one on Friday nights.' He recognizes that he, personally, has become enslaved by this particular "lust of the flesh" and must forsake it.

Now, when he gets up off his knees, what must he do?

The next evening comes. He is tempted to drink. Does he say to himself, "Well, I'm the same man I was last night (true) with the same desire for a whiskey (also true). Since I still have this temptation, I may as well give in to it....clearly, Christ hasn't changed my heart yet. When He does, I'll just "yield" to Him and let Him have His way....but since I'm still weak, I'll just go have a drink. Anyway, I'm 'powerless' over this addiction. I cannot resist, so I'll just 'let go and let God'. When HE wants me to stop drinking, HE'll deliver me supernaturally!"

If this is the believer's understanding of repentance and he gives in to his temptation, goes down to the bar and gets drunk, he's going to wake up even more miserable than the day before. Plus, his faith in God and His power to save and sanctify will be even further eroded -- because He was not walking by the Spirit and determining in his heart to obey Christ's clear command.

What should he have done (besides pray and seek forgiveness)? Well, obviously he must not have any alcohol in the house. Leaving himself a constant temptation will make obedience harder. He, like all believers, "is called to holiness, and created in Christ Jesus to do good works" (Eph. 2:10). Secondly, he ought to identify those places and times of temptation to drink excessively, and plan to avoid them. "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you," (James 4:7). As he begins each day, he should "put on the full armor of God so that he can take his stand against the devil's schemes," (Eph. 6:11; emphasis mine). Putting on that spiritual armor starts as he reads the Bible, prays and asks God to renew his mind, but it doesn't stop there. How does he "take a stand against the devil's schemes" (temptation to sin by getting drunk)? By actively resisting it.

In John 14:15 and 14:21, the Lord Jesus Christ affirms that if we truly love Him, our actions will show it. Now, love for God is not defined by actions, (in other words, you could do 'good' things, but not necessarily love the Lord), but if our devotion to God is sincere, that will affect the way we act. If my kids love me, they will obey me. If our Christian repenting of drunkeness truly loves the Lord, he will obey Him - by making those tough lifestyle changes. Besides 'cutting off' the alcohol, it would be wise for him to tell a Christian brother of his struggle and commitment to sobriety ("confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed"; James 5:16). Accountabilty is often an important part of repenting from a life-dominating sin. By extension, seeking biblical counsel from an appropriate counselor or pastor may also be a part, but again, the counselor cannot change the individual. Doing the hard work of biblical change comes out of a pure desire for holiness, and is something that each person individually must walk out.

How, then, do we apply this to eating disorders?

Well, we certainly don't have to whomp up any warm, loving feelings towards God in order to desire to repent. He has graciously granted us conviction, and in His kindness is leading us to repentance (Romans 2:4). The change in heart attitude towards the sin of anorexia or bulimia should, ideally, go hand-in-hand with changes in behavior. This is true repentance, and although a child of God may fall many times, there is going to be an overall tendency of change and more healthful behavior (whether resisting the urge to binge or faithfully eating and digesting meals) as one walks in obedience.

The process might look like this:


1.) Conviction ==> hatred of sin

2.) Prayerful determination to forsake it (end cycle of binge/purge; stop starving one's self) (Phil. 3:19)

3.) Renewal of mind (rejection of idolatry/obsession with food) WHILE re-establishing healthy eating habits (Romans 12:2; 1 Cor. 6:19)

Naturally, one must faithfully stay in the Word (prayerfully read the Bible daily) to truly be transformed and have the mind of Christ; the verses I cited above are only examples and are by no means the final word or "magic verse" that will combat eating disorders!

True, biblical submission entails a very real and active committment to DO the things we know are pleasing to God -- whether it be throw away drug paraphanelia, avoid the bar, eat a nutritious meal, or abstain from a fat and sugar-laden binge. We turn TO Him in the moment of temptation, asking for His supernatural strength and to give us a holy hatred for our sin; but we simultaneously turn FROM the sinful behavior as an act of the will.

When I was still struggling with the temptation of bulimia, not only did I avoid going into Dunkin Donuts or McDonald's; I'd catch myself as soon as the thoughts of planning my next binge entered my mind (2 Cor. 10:5) and reject it. Before eating (remember, eating disorders are harder to overcome than other addictions because we MUST eat to live); I would plan what, realistically, I ought to eat for nourishment and how much. Seeking the Holy Spirit's help, I would then discipline myself to stick to that plan, so that I would not spiral into "binge mode". See? Thoughts, prayer and action all go together. You cannot isolate repentance from obedience.

Many Christians have a skewed view of sanctification, thinking that if they just "yield" or "submit" to Christ, He will automatically change them. Of course, we should be living lives of surrender and constantly be yielded to His will - that is the picture of joyful obedience - but it is by no means a passive process. We must take an active role in our sanctification and practice discipline (1 Cor. 9) if we are to bring about changes that are pleasing to God. See "Godliness Through Discipline" by Jay Adams for a more thorough discussion of what this looks like when the rubber hits the road. Praise God for His Spirit within you, Who "works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose" (Phil. 2:13)!

"To repent is not to stay in the pig trough and carry on indulging in sin." -- Pastor Kevin Williams
For an excellent discussion of what biblical repentance is and isn't, listen to Williams' sermon "A Biblical Definition of Repentance".

Article Published in "The Gabriel"

One of my articles (originally appeared last spring on this blog) was just published in The Gabriel, the quarterly magazine produced by Christians in Recovery. My piece, entitled "Lessons in Faith: Life After Bulimia" runs on pp. 14-16 of the publication (it takes a minute to download.

Writing for them seems like a great way to share the truth that is in Christ, and encourage Christians who struggle with substance abuse.(They have already published several of my articles on their regular website).

I noticed that they have a link to Mark Shaw's book, "The Heart of Addiction" (Focus Publishing) there as well. Funny; he is currently reading my book for endorsement! Small world.

Mercy Ministries of America - Transforming Hearts, One Girl at a Time

Nancy Alcorn is a woman on a mission.

In 1983 she founded a long-term residential program to help girls struggling with eating disorders, self-harm, substance abuse, pregnancy and related issues. As of 2008, nearly 70% of Mercy’s U.S. residents were there for eating disorder treatment (Mercy also operates homes in Canada, New Zealand and the United Kingdom). The program is both free and voluntary, with only a true commitment to change being required from each applicant.

In June of 2008, the Australian government shut down the Sunshine Coast facility after numerous allegations of abuse from former residents. Then-director Peter Irvine initially defended Mercy, claiming that the charges were fabricated, then stepped down from his post when the charges were proven true. Among the issues raised were false claims on the part of Mercy regarding its services, lack of qualified professionals (the “counselors” were untrained Bible students with no theological or counseling credentials), women being forced to sign over their unemployment benefits, exorcisms, and spiritual abuse. Bankrolled by the Australian mega-church Hillsong, Mercy Ministries Australia came under increased scrutiny and has been called a “cult” by at least one member of Parliament. Nancy Alcorn and the Mercy Ministries International staff distanced themselves from the allegations, which appear to have been confined to the Australian centers and have not been associated with any of the other homes.

Mercy operates stateside homes in Nashville, TN; Monroe, LA; St. Louis, MO; and as of 2009 Sacramento, CA. Future centers are planned for Florida, North Carolina, and Texas. All minors are treated at their Nashville home.

Program Distinctives

The program at Mercy Ministries is based on biblical principals as laid out in their online Statement of Faith, and residents attend both daily worship, Bible classes, group, and individual counseling. In addition to spiritual counsel, the young women receive nutritional counseling from a licensed nutritionist and have access to off-site medical care. They attend church in the center’s community and are free to leave the program at any time. Mercy Ministries is not affiliated with NANC or CCEF, but requires its counselors to have at least a Bachelor’s degree in social work, psychology, or a related field. All of Mercy’s counselors are members of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC). As such, Mercy’s program is not strictly nouthetic, but rather integrationist. Nevertheless, their counseling is firmly rooted in the Word of God and 93% of former residents polled said Mercy Ministries “transformed their lives and restored their hope.”

One of the controversies Mercy Ministries has faced was the allegation that they perform “exorcisms” and adhere to a belief that eating disorders are caused by demons inhabiting a person’s body. This charge was based on the testimony of former residents and their use of an aberrant“Restoring the Foundations” spiritual warfare manual. (Mercy initially denied the charges, but a copy was smuggled out of one of the facilities by a resident). Upon investigation, Mercy abandoned the use of this manual and since June of 2008 has been using a curriculum called “Choices that Bring Change” in all of its centers. According to the ministry’s website, this course “helps young women work through a counseling process that explores issues of faith, forgiveness, family, overcoming abuse and past hurts, and general life principles.”

A representative of Mercy Ministries described the counseling program as follows: “Choices that Bring Change" deals with commitment to Christ, choosing to forgive, renewing the mind, generational patterns, healing life’s hurts, freedom from oppression, and principles of life long success. Examples of some of the outside materials we use are Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore, Christine Caine, Priscilla Shirer, Joel Osteen, and Louis Giglio. We use resources from many different denominational backgrounds. Residents have individual counseling once a week and group counseling once a week. Our counseling model is based entirely on scripture and was written by our masters’ level counselors along with our founder and president, Nancy Alcorn. At one point in time our counseling model was loosely based on Restoring the Foundations; however, Choices that Bring Change has nothing to do with Restoring the Foundations.” When asked if the bathrooms at Mercy’s homes are locked, the representative responded, “Whether or not bathrooms are locked, is not relevant to program delivery.” (I confirmed with a former resident that the bathrooms are not, in fact, locked). While such a practice is somewhat unusual in an eating disorder/substance abuse facility, the spokeswoman did have a point: locking a bathroom will not change a person’s heart or cause her to repent of the behavior and idolatry behind it. While behavior modification may be helpful to a girl’s physical well-being in the short-term, sooner or later she will have to re-enter a society where bathrooms are not locked. Mercy focuses on helping its residents to make lasting, inward change as they yield their lives to God’s will.

Mercy Ministries is technically interdenominational, and treats young women from various Christian backgrounds and traditions. While their Statement of Faith is conservative and biblically solid , there is a strong charismatic element to their teaching as can be seen from the eclectic mix of teaching materials mentioned above. Combined with their integration of psychology with the Bible, I am somewhat hesitant to endorse all aspects of their program. The ministry’s website declares, “We are committed to providing the young women we serve with the most excellent program services that allow them to recognize their self-worth and prepare them to reach their full potential,” (emphasis mine). My only concern with this statement is that the focus is put on the individual’s worth and potential, rather than the ultimate importance of glorifying God by living to serve Him.

Despite any doctrinal shortcomings, however, Mercy Ministries is unquestionably helping countless young women come to know the Lord more deeply as they repent of besetting sin. The program nurtures seeds of faith and equips residents with increased knowledge and strengthened faith; tools they need to “live lives worthy of the calling they have received” (Ephesians 4:1; 2 Thessalonians 1:11). For this reason, I would encourage any young woman battling anorexia or bulimia to consider the intense discipleship program offered by Mercy Ministries.

Read testimonies from former Mercy residents here: http://www.mercyministries.org/SuccessStories/Graduates.aspx

Open Letter to a Food Addict

A recent exchange. Used here for the edification of others with the writer's permission.

Dear Marie,

I am struggling again. I do not know where to start with putting this idoltary away. I have been runnign to food, and stuffing down to avoid feelings. I am afraid that there is no hope for me.I seem to not get myself of solid ground. Then the issue of support, I ssem to be alone in this.. I am at my whit send. where do I start??? I feel sick in my heart and in my body.

I am desperate for answers, but do not know where to begin. I know that I need to start in God's word.

My response:

"Well, first off I am really sorry that you are struggling; this is a real mountain to move, I know. Eating is such a major part of our lives, and (especially around this time of the year) it is so hard to keep it in perspective. Please don't say that there is "no hope" for you, because that is what Satan would want you to believe and there is ALWAYS hope for those who are in Christ Jesus.

The thing about the support...don't rely too much on other people for your breakthrough....... I had to repent of the bulimia completely without my husband even knowing, and I was TERRIFIED. When God really is all you have, you find that He is enough and sufficient to meet all your needs.

The place to begin would be, IMO, before your next meal. Seriously, get used to putting on the full armor of God before your meal - plan ahead - and pray for guidance and self-control. And then the next one, and when you are tempted to binge in between. As you know, it is not a physical hunger you are trying to feed, so get used to disciplining yourself to SEEK HIM FIRST. Then commit to eating a normal, healthy thing (use common sense as well as prayer about food choices - I know you know what constitutes healthy food and normal portion sizes) and rely on His strength to stick to it.

The thing is, it's so common to mess up - over and over. But the more you despair and stay in shame, the more you will give up and stay in defeat. That's where grace comes in - you have to just pick yourself up, repent as you would of any other sin, and accept that He loves you and knew you would fail before the temptation was even before you. Christ has already made provision for the failings of your flesh, and you cannot redeem yourself to the Redeemer (nor should you try). Just seek Him once again, and lost in that love, move on. Even if it's "seven times in the same day", go back to Him and repent (Luke 17:4).

Do not have the triggering foods around. Simply don't. I always compare this to someone who struggles with lust - shouldn't they be careful what they put in front of their eyes? In the Catholic church, you hear mention of "occasions of sin". The phrase itself isn't biblical, but the concept certainly is - don't put yourself in situations where you know you're going to be particularly tempted. You are much more likely to fall.

Whatever the feelings are, deal with them...it's better than continuing on in disordered eating, which will only give you one more painful burden to carry. If there is something in your marriage that needs to be addressed (I know that is the toughest one, especially for us, the women), please try to do so - with or without a counselor. If it does not relate to anyone else, still bring the burden before God - even if initially it seems much more painful to face it head-on, dealing with your feelings and circumstances will ultimately bring you much greater relief than medicating them with food.

Please just take it one meal at a time; one prayer at a time. Commit to spending at least 15 minutes with your Father first thing in the morning; before you even eat breakfast. Yes, you need to be in the Word, but just as badly, you need fellowship with Him. This is the TRUE hunger that you are trying to stuff with a counterfeit.

He loves you so much, and bids you come to Him - flaws and all. Please don't give up."


I hope this advice is helpful to someone...please e-mail me if you want prayer support or to talk one-on-one.