Looking Towards the Great Physician

Without a doubt, the most exciting and gratifying part of counseling is the moment when a woman finds true freedom. Often, I have found that pouring months and months and tens of thousands of words into another's life will yield no discernible fruit; other times, the most severe case will result in such complete brokenness that surrender becomes victory. Things are upside down in God's economy - as Beth Moore says, "In the Kingdom, the way up is down."

In the past few months, three of the young women I have counseled have written me excitedly sharing testimonies of deliverance. As they have found, there are no shortcuts or magic bullets - but a sincere desire and commitment to leave their chains of bulimia behind has resulted in restorations they would never have dreamed possible.

I, personally, am grateful that God allowed me to witness their transformed lives, as I really had nothing to do with it. He let me be the messenger of His love and redemption, and He was their Wonderful Counselor.

No testimony of deliverance could be more powerful than the one that came from a British woman I had counseled briefly last week. This was in my inbox:

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and ALL that is within me BLESS His HOLY name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not ALL His benefits. Who forgives ALL your iniquities, who heals ALL your diseases, Who redeems your life from the pit. Who crowns you with STEADFAST Love and Mercy" (Psalm 103)
Thank you for your e-mail. Oh, what a FAITHFUL God we serve - I am so grateful for your prayers and encouragement - now I am able to write to you with news of AMAZING breakthrough, cleansing and freedom - the GLORY all going to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. He truely has redeemed my life from the pit and crowned me with steadfast love and mercy. By His Grace I am back in a place of TOTAL SURRENDER to Him, safe in the arms of His beautiful and gentle Love, drinking from the living WATER that springs up to ETERNAL LIFE.

One day I will stop and read [my book] through completely. I am so thankful that you have written that book. It will help many people to recognise that repentance is needed from eating disorders. Oh how amazing it is when God washed us clean and removes our transgressions as far as the east is from the west. He has faithfully helped me to turn all over to Him and give Him the reigns. Is it always easy? NO. Is it the only thing I would ever want to choose? YES.

For three weeks I have been attempting to eat three healthy meals a day - even if for the evening meal that means buying healthy eating ready meals for now. Many times the temptation to make food a god again was so strong - to turn to it for comfort instead of running to the loving arms of a faithful SAVIOUR. Some nights I did fall to over-eating, and yet somehow God in His Mercy gave me strength to get up the next morning and once more look to Him and walk the narrow path....I can surely say like Joseph, "What the enemy meant for evil, God has used for good".... for it has been a weekend where I've had to trust in God by Faith as never before - and seen just how strong He is and the beauty and strength found in His sanctuary no matter what the external circumstances.

This Evening I can lift my hands once more to worship and praise Him. i am the richest person alive. We all are who know Christ Jesus as Lord. Oh how He has blessed me - not just helping me back to work and to my place in His body in the church, but also taking me on a journey everyday deeper into His heart. When it is hard I will look to Him and remember this weekend......

Nothing is too difficult for God. His HOLY WAYS are the delight of my soul. HE IS FAITHFUL and has promised to never leave or abandon His heritage. He loves us more than we could ever know. I'm so excited for when the strength in my limbs returns to be able to dance and jump in praise to God once more........I thought the enemy had won, I had totally given up, i thought there was no hope..... but it was a lie, there is always hope in Christ....ALWAYS. Even (and especially) for sinners like me. Today I stand forgiven and justified because of the price Jesus paid in His suffering and pain. What can i do, but give all my life back to Him in worship and thanks.

God is too awesome for words. His kindness truly does lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4), and He sets our feet on that solid Rock. This woman, like other daughters of the King before her, has found her strength in Christ and walked out of her self-inflicted prison. He will restore the years the locust has eaten, and is already turning their mourning into dancing!


  1. Hi Marie. It's Heidi (Becky V.'s sister). Sge sent me this today and I really needed to be here. I sent the link to my friend too.
    I can't believe you used the scripture that plays over and over in my heade Ever since my Mother read it to me years ago). I just sent it to my Michele, on her 49th bday, "He will restore the years the locusts have eaten."
    Ironic...I was just commenting to my frind about how many metaphotic verbs conerning feelings, are wors about consumtion, eating, nouishment, humger, starving. Is it any wonder that women intertwine feelings & food and what we do eith it? Even that scripture uses such language...and I SO believe it and feel like I just don't know how to let him.
    I believe what you say about it being simple. I've read enough and figured out the "how's" and "why's" of what brought us to this and it seems like a huge ball to untangle. Without God, it seems just TOO BIG and at my weakest, I'd rather be crushed by it than try to untangle it & heal my brain. But Gid has been in my heart inse I was a child. I know I am not living the kife he meant for me and I am still holding on to (what I recognize as) a weak branch in this raging river of life. I know that i could turn my head and see his long stongs arms reaching for me from the river banks, but as long as my eyes are focused on the river and not him, I will not be able to let go abd take hid grasp.
    I want to. I REALLY WANT TO.Thank you for putting yurself out there for us. Adult Women with Ed's feel so alone, let alone CHRISTIAN adult women. Thsnk you for being strong in Him to rercognize that we need each other and create a place such as this. You're a blessing Marie. I've been thinking of you ever since you reached out through my sister and I have replaced the word "recovery" with "deliverance" also, because I know you are right. Good Word. Just the word itself casn lead us to do what we need. Why Do I have to make it so hard when he has an easier way. What does it take to surrender?
    Bles you for helping God deliver others!

  2. Hi Heidi!

    Thanks for visiting, and nice to finally "meet" you!

    One of the chapters in my book dealt with a subject you allude to - the implicit imagry in feeding, nourishment, etc. In the context of renewing the mind (the self-destructive behavior of anorexia/bulimia obviously is first conceived by faulty thought patterns), I point the reader to specific passages of Scripture that portray nourishment (both physical and spiritual) as a positive, healthy thing. It is a hard, yet deliberate choice the ED woman must make to believe and internalize this truth.

    Check out Psalm 81:10, for starters - why would God have used that metaphor? It speaks of parental nourishment. Elsewhere, God's Word is described as "honey" and we're instructed spiritually to "eat and be filled". Literally speaking, while throughout the Bible gluttony is condemned, food is unquestionably viewed as a gift from God.

    If you can begin to see food's proper place and who you are as God sees these questions, it will go a long way towards overcoming your fear of food. In simple terms, this is part of surrender - confessing essentially means agreeing with God; repentance is a desire to turn from your way (which isn't working anyway) and agree that His is right. Of course, these aren't great definitions and there is much more to be said, but you get the idea. It seems difficult to believe that a person has the ability in herself to turn around without 'psychtherapy' or group counseling or any of the other man-made devices we've been conditioned to believe we need, but don't forget God would not expect us to do anything He Himself hasn't already provided the strength for us to do. That strength is the Holy Spirit; the same power that raised Jesus from the dead. If you are a blood-bought child of God, He resides within you and will strengthen and empower you to obey.

    Each day is a new day, and His mercies are new every morning (Zeph. 3:5).

  3. hi, this is Michele. glad you have created this inspirational site. Not doing so great these days. waiting on test results to see how much trauma my sin and denial have caused to my body. trying to focus on some of the good changes I've done recently in my life to have the strength to make even more. I want the energy to not only live my life but share the life I live with God. every step of the way whether I trip, falter, or glide like a falcon. God and his son Dear Jesus are always with me.. especially when I need to cry and mourn and confess my sins. How do I reach him before I reach that point? when I stand upon the edge of the crevasse of choice and will either step back or forward? I always feel so alone then.

  4. Hi Michele and welcome!

    What I found was that even while I was well on the way to leaving the ED in the dust, I'd still have occasional, inexplicable failures that would leave me devastated. "Ugh...I'd made it 2 weeks...what'd I go and do that for?!?" Sometimes, I'd suddenly become preoccupied with the small amount of weight I'd gain, and go into panic mode. Worst of all, I'd believe that God was disappointed in me and instead of repenting immediately, I'd "run and hide". Can you relate to that?

    One suggestion I would make (specifically in regards to your ED - going to Him before the fact for strength, rather than afterwards for forgiveness), is to get into the habit of spending time in the Word every morning (to begin renewing your mind) and intentionally pray before and during every meal. This helped me a LOT. Decide beforehand what and how much you are going to eat, and rely on the Holy Spirit to help you do so (self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, btw).

    If you want to shoot me an e-mail, I will send you my book as an attachment; I go into much more detail in several of the chapters there. I have not yet gotten the copyright, but once I do I will post excerpts on this blog.

    My e-mail is: marie4thtimemom@yahoo.com. Oh - I have a little book "When We Have Failed" I have been meaning to give Rebecca for you - when I see her at church, will pass it on. It's not specific to EDs, but that's the beauty of biblical counsel - it doesn't need to be. God's exhortation is applicable to every temptation and besetting sin we could ever face.

    I've been praying for you and will continue to do so.


Thanks for visiting! Please leave me a message, share your testimony, or feel free to ask questions. Anonymous comments are welcome. Or e-mail me privately at marie4thtimemom@yahoo.com.