I hope this heart-felt letter from a reader blesses you as much as it did me:
Subject: I Love Your Blog!
Hello Marie,
I came across your blog while searching for testimonies of Christians who have been set free from the bondage of bulimia. I loved reading the few entries I have so far. Your story gives me hope, and your perspective is (refreshingly) Biblically sound.
I have been struggling for 13 years now with bulimia. I developed anorexia at the age of 15, gained some weight back to please concerned people, and then quickly became addicted to the binge/purge cycle. I was in secular counseling for years, along with residential treatment on various occasions as a teenager. I learned tools to cope with emotions, but nothing that worldly psychology had to offer penetrated to the core of the problem. I always resorted back to eating disordered behaviors after leaving treatment. The longest I've gone (apart from treatment centers) binge and purge free has been three months. I white-knuckle it through intense cravings to binge on most days. It feels like I am merely controlling my behaviors; my mind is still enslaved to rigid thoughts about food, image and exercise. I have been married to an amazing, Godly husband for almost two years now, and I am desperate to be set free in my mind and (subsequently) in my behavior! My bulimia hurts my marriage and prevents me from having an intimate relationship with God. I've been a believer in Jesus for 10 years, but live a defeated Christian life due to my idol worship of food. I am a perfectionist and have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The world tells me that I will never fully recover. I refuse to believe this.
I would appreciate any counsel you have to offer. Thank you for promising to pray for me. I am feeling particularly discouraged today. I so badly want to be walking in freedom, but seem to be unwilling to endure the discomfort of life without the numbing effect of binge eating. I truly cannot do this on my own, and I don't know how to fully surrender it to God.
Thanks for listening/reading,
(Name Withheld)
Thank you for reaching out for help. You are right; the world offers no 'cure' for bulimia, so turning to God for help is the best thing you can do. May I recommend an on-line (and free) Bible study called, 'Setting Captives Free: In His Image?' The 'In His Image' class is one of many classes, and it is a Bible study specifically for those with ED's. If you scroll down now, you will find it listed on the far bottom right of this website. What helped me most from this program is the input the mentors give--little pep talks and even giving answers (or making referrals) to questions that may come up. And the Bible studies are tremendous!
ReplyDeleteI've battled bulimia for a long, long time. Be encouraged as you fight through this, for the worse thing you can do is give up. Besides, what are the alternatives?