I hope this heart-felt letter from a reader blesses you as much as it did me:
Subject: I Love Your Blog!
I came across your blog while searching for testimonies of Christians who have been set free from the bondage of bulimia. I loved reading the few entries I have so far. Your story gives me hope, and your perspective is (refreshingly) Biblically sound.
I have been struggling for 13 years now with bulimia. I developed anorexia at the age of 15, gained some weight back to please concerned people, and then quickly became addicted to the binge/purge cycle. I was in secular counseling for years, along with residential treatment on various occasions as a teenager. I learned tools to cope with emotions, but nothing that worldly psychology had to offer penetrated to the core of the problem. I always resorted back to eating disordered behaviors after leaving treatment. The longest I've gone (apart from treatment centers) binge and purge free has been three months. I white-knuckle it through intense cravings to binge on most days. It feels like I am merely controlling my behaviors; my mind is still enslaved to rigid thoughts about food, image and exercise. I have been married to an amazing, Godly husband for almost two years now, and I am desperate to be set free in my mind and (subsequently) in my behavior! My bulimia hurts my marriage and prevents me from having an intimate relationship with God. I've been a believer in Jesus for 10 years, but live a defeated Christian life due to my idol worship of food. I am a perfectionist and have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The world tells me that I will never fully recover. I refuse to believe this.
I would appreciate any counsel you have to offer. Thank you for promising to pray for me. I am feeling particularly discouraged today. I so badly want to be walking in freedom, but seem to be unwilling to endure the discomfort of life without the numbing effect of binge eating. I truly cannot do this on my own, and I don't know how to fully surrender it to God.
Thanks for listening/reading,