"What Does the Bible Say About Eating Disorders?"

The following essay comes from an excellent apologetics site, Gotquestions.org. Although I didn't write it, it is a thoroughly biblical and easily understood look at anorexia and bulimia from a Scriptural perspective. See original page here.

Disclaimer: I do NOT recommend the "Recommended Resource" at the bottom of the page, as Rowland's "The Monster Within" is a very integrationist, heavily-psychologized memoir about her struggle with bulimia. Get my book instead.

Question: "What does the Bible say about eating disorders (i.e. anorexia, bulimia)?"

Answer: There are two major eating disorders: anorexia, in which people purposefully under eat, and bulimia, in which people binge on food and then purge. (Some people consider gluttony an eating disorder, but for the purposes of this article, we will not address it. Please see our article on gluttony.) Polls taken have reported differing numbers, but at least 1 out of every 10 women will have experienced an eating disorder at some time in their lives, and some polls suggest that as many as 1 out of 4 will. Eating disorders do not only affect women, either: approximately 10% of those with an eating disorder are men.

Eating disorders have many reported causes: stress, personality traits (obsessive compulsive, perfectionism), media, and unhealthy relationships. However, eating disorders have at the root an over-emphasis on self, usually in a very negative way. This kind of reverse self-esteem can be very destruction to the health and well-being of an individual, not only to the body but to the spirit as well. It also can have profound effects on the sufferer’s family.

For the Christian, anorexia and bulimia fly in the face of what God has revealed. First Corinthians 6:19-20 tells us "… don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body” (NLT). Add to this passage such passages as: Romans 14:7-8, "For we are not our own masters when we live or when we die. While we live, we live to please the Lord. And when we die, we go to be with the Lord. So in life and in death, we belong to the Lord" (NLT). If our bodies belong to the Lord, then He is the master of them and the way we treat them either honors or dishonors God. Eating disorders do not fall into line with Scripture, and it is incumbent upon a Christian suffering from one—and his/her family as well—to seek as much medical and spiritual help as necessary to treat the problem. [MY NOTE: Just be sure the "spiritual help" comes in the form of BIBLICAL counseling.]

Jesus Christ has the power to break the bondage of eating disorders, but it will often take biblical and dietary counseling for the person under such bondage to realize their predicament. Needless to say, this is a matter for much prayer. God is able to free us from all types of bondage through the power of His Holy Spirit. If we are His in Christ, He makes that power available to us.

Testimony from a Reader - to God Be the Glory

Dear Marie,

Your book is so great and God is using it in a mighty way in my life. Although it has been 25 years since I used/practiced/was trapped by bulemia, (I am 45 now) I have still never had freedom with food. For me, the battle of what to eat, what not to eat, how much to eat was swirling around in my head daily....all day. God started to show me several years ago how this is bondage and He intends freedom. This was no doubt blocking the freedom and also stifling fruit from mu life that could be glorifying Him.

Through this last summer (2011) this trouble with food and my self image reached an all time breaking point. I felt hopeless and frustrated - failures more and more frequent and more extreme, "success" in this area less and less frequent and less "successful". I have been using food as an emotional "security blanket" for as long as I can remember. As life goes on, I have used it more and more and can see this noose was getting tighter and tighter. I started attending and following the program of Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) in September. I've learned a great deal about myself and my issues with food from these few months and even many logistical things about planning and volume, etc. about food. But, from the start several things about this approach that I could not feel settled with. I kept feeling like God was definitely with me and helping me, I continued to feel called to freedom with Him - not with a program.

So, in November I googled something like "freedom beyond Food Addiction" and up popped your book - I ordered it right away and have had it ether in hand or close by ever since. There are more words underlined than not, there are pages turned down and notes covering the back cover and blank last page and in many margins. Thank you for writing it....thank you for all the time and research you have done to share all of this. Today I'll be calling the dear woman who has been voluntarily sponsoring me in this program to let her know I feel called to face this daily, hourly, by minute with God and am not going to continue "in program".

I live in ______ . (zip code xxxxx). I wish you lived here - I would love to meet you and ask you a million questions about your life and story. It is amazing the fire God set ablaze in you to learn about Him and his word. Thank you for sharing so much. Through you, God has given me much hope and direction.

Are You Blaming Your Sin on a "Disease"? (Tim Conway)

He's right.

Prepare for Temptation! (From Wayne Mack)

Dear readers: tomorrow, 8/12/11, I will be leaving for a short-term missions trip in Albania, and will not have e-mail, internet or cellphone access. If you send me an e-mail or leave a comment, it may not be answered or moderated until after I return to the US on 8/24/11. In the meantime, read the following from Wayne Mack on implementing biblical instruction, and formulate a "plan of attack" for beating bulimia and overeating! Deciding how to handle temptation before it comes is half the battle.

"A plan for biblical response to temptation might include the following items:

1) recognize and acknowledge in the earliest stages of temptation that you are being tempted;

2) quickly ask God for His help to resist;

3) if possible, remove yourself immediately from the source of temptation;

4) identify the unbiblical desire that would be served by yielding to the temptation;

5) quote and meditate on appropriate Scripture;

6) remind yourself of God's presence, power, and promises;

7) reflect on the purpose of Christ's death;

8) mentally and verbally make a commitment to do the godly thing;

9) get busy with a mind-engaging, godly activity;

10) call a godly friend and ask for help;

11) repeat key aspects of this temptation plan until the power of the temptation is reduced.

The planning phase of the implementation process should also include strategies for dealing with failure. Since change is usually a process rather than an event, people often experience setbacks in their efforts to become more godly. Yet this frequently takes people by surprise, and because they have come to counseling with unrealistic expectations (that progress will be swift, easy and continuous), they become discouraged by the struggles and failures. When this happens, they tend to think that no progress has been made, that counseling is useless, and that they have not, cannot, and will not ever change."

- Wayne Mack, "Counseling: How to Counsel Biblically", (with John Macarthur), pp. 195-6.

I want you all to see the error of that way of thinking when you fail, even though you may have repented of the bulimic behavior again, and again...and AGAIN. The key is in humbling yourself (yes, once again) before the Lord in repentance, and when you get up off your knees, stepping out anew in obedience. This commitment to change is the only way out of the pit - repentance is an ongoing lifestyle; not a one-time quick fix!

Please keep me in prayer while I'm in Albania...and for my family as well (hopefully I've got them trained well enough to survive without me for 12 days!)

Relapses, even in Eating Disorders, are Part of the (Christian) Life

The other night it dawned on me that there is a subject I have not written much about in regards to overcoming anorexia or bulimia. Because my book, "Redeemed from the Pit" is not an autobiography (although I do include my testimony), relapse into bingeing and purging while on the road to transformation is not a subject I developed too deeply, because I assumed that the reader would understand that the principles of repentance apply whether it is the first or 1,000th time you bring your sin before God.

However, I have been thinking about the dynamic of relapse in the larger picture of the Christian life (the sin-repent-accept forgiveness-sin again pattern). I realized the propensity for a repenting bulimic to fall back into her old snare of turning to food is very real, at least for the first few months. The process of transformation is a cooperative effort between God's grace and our responsibility, and we often stumble and fall along the way.

The other night, I was chatting with a young friend who had a great few months of new found joy in the Lord, but lately has fallen back into the bulimia. What I've sensed from her (although I'd not want to put words in her mouth) is that her struggle with food is a near-hopeless one. She perhaps feels, at least for the time being, that it's hopeless. Bulimia wins.

Well, a situation is never hopeless to him who believes; and there is no believer outside the grace of God. Victory is possible; but let's leave that aside for the moment. I have written so much for so long about the reality of total, permanent victory over eating disorders that one might be forgiven for thinking my own transformation (recovery, if you prefer) was instantaneous or somehow supernatural. True, biblical change is always supernatural in the sense that God's Word is living and active, and the Word and the Spirit effect change in a believer; but there was nothing mystical, magical, immediate or fail-proof about it.

As I explained to this young lady, when I initially repented of the bulimia and was prayed over, I went about 6 days without falling into a binge episode again. I quickly re-grouped and continued to do well (prior to that, I had been bingeing and purging every day for 17 years). I did, however, completely relapse into the bulimia about 2-21/2 months after my initial decision to walk away from it. In February 2004, I vaguely remember eating the pepperoni pizza at my daughter's 7th birthday party....and a full-scale binge resulted. And then another. The details are fuzzy, but that month I nearly lost all I had worked for.

However, as February became March, I reminded myself: "Look, if God was with me then, He's with me now. If, in His strength, I could resist the "urge to purge" for 6, 8 days at a time, why can't I do that again?" I repented, and rather than give in to a downward spiral of self-pity, I got back up and continued where I had left off. Each time you resist temptation instead of giving in to the sin, you are stronger against the next "attack". That's true of bulimia and it's true of sin in general. Standing firm against the "lusts of the flesh" strengthens your inner man. You truly are in a spiritual battle.

The reasons WHY we may relapse after we choose to let God change our thinking and behavior may be many, but focusing on the reasons for our failure really isn't important....it's more important to focus on the SOLUTION. The way we respond when we fail and relapse is extremely important. The "whys" don't matter nearly so much as the "what next?" Although we can't assume everyone who relapses is sinning high-handedly (being apathetic to the fact she is in sin; not really caring anymore) sometimes, if we honestly examine ourselves, we have become indifferent to the seriousness of our sin. It's not all that unusual for someone to repent of her addiction when her life has become unmanageable, and as soon as she feels more "in control" to re-adopt her anorexic or bulimic behavior. This is remorse, and not true repentance. Does this describe your heart condition? Sometimes, you might not even want to give up your eating disorder all that much, even though you understand intellectually how dangerous and ungodly it is.

I wrote:

If you don’t want to, you don’t want to. But when I was struggling with this [double-mindedness], I realized that by willfully continuing on in it, I was essentially saying to Jesus, “Thanks very much for dying for me; that scourging must have been a real bitch...but I think I’ll just do what I want and keep sinning. I don’t want to think about what my sin cost You.”

Sometimes, we resist conviction because we are afraid it will hurt too much. Conviction is the "constructive criticism" the Holy Spirit uses to call us back into fellowship with Jesus. It's a merciful, necessary first step to repentance - which is the door to freedom.

Other times, we truly are broken over our sin and don't understand why we've dived head-long back into it. But as we contemplate our misery, we stay away from the Cross because of our shame. As CCEF counselor Winston Smith wrote, "We don't want anyone - especially Jesus - to touch our guilt". (See Smith's excellent, edifying, 2-part series on shame "Do You Want to Say No to Jesus' Touch?" and "Pointing the Shamed to Christ - Feet First").

While we know His seeing, touching, and cleansing our stain is the only way we can be free - forgiven, and walking in the full knowledge of how loved we are - shame before His holiness and "do it yourself" pride keep us stuck in the pit of relapse longer than necessary. Trying to "fix" ourselves without throwing ourselves on His mercy is legalism, and is bound to fail and lead to despair. The bottom line to a relapse: GET UP. Go back to the Throne of Grace, the same source of mercy you found when you first set out on this walk. Christ's mercies are new every morning, and He has promised never, ever to turn away the contrite heart that seeks Him.

Even seven times in the same day.

When I get discouraged over repeated sin patterns in my life, I think back to the time I "fell off the wagon" as a repentant, but still weak, bulimic back in early 2004. If I had given up, would I still be alive today? Even more, I turn to the biblical examples of men and women who loved God, but messed up, and were forgiven. Guess what? After they were forgiven, they messed up again. And again. The Apostles, in case you hadn't noticed, were not exactly perfect. My favorite Apostolic homeboy, Simon Peter, seemed to have learned his lesson in John 21 (when Jesus reinstated him after his painful denial). End of story, right? Wrong! In Galatians 2, we learn that Paul much later had to correct Peter for his hypocrisy. Even after spending three years with the Lord, these saints didn't always act like it - which is why their stories, warts and all, remain for our edification.

The Reformers wrote of the Christian life being one of continual repentance and renewal. This is true in both "respectable" sins (of course, we know there aren't any, really) and major failings, like relapses. Just because you have fallen into a relapse doesn't mean it's the end, or you'll never be free of bulimia, or that God's done with you yet. He has great plans for you, but you cannot fulfill them with your head over a toilet. If you do not feel repentant but rather are numb, apathetic, or even rebellious, admit that to God. He already knows anyway. It is often the case, when we relapse into addiction, that we can only pray a "help me want to want to" prayer, and this is an honest cry that God will answer. His love for you is intense, gentle, and burdened for your well-being.

Do not put it off another day; run to Him!

A 13-Year-Old's Synopsis

Last week, I had a lengthy discussion with the author editing my book on the content and format of one of its chapters, "What About Counseling?" I had originally devoted three chapters in the manuscript to discussion of the hollow, deceptive philosophy of behavioral psychology; the atheist roots of psychoanalysis; and the influence of Freud, Skinner and Maslow in contemporary addiction therapy.

"Whoa!" said she. ("Whoa!" is, according to Jay Adams, the most important word in biblical counseling). "Let the Bible speak for itself," she counseled. "You need to spend more time showing the reader what the answer is from Scripture; how GOD is going to help them, than on all these other things." She was right, of course. I condensed my warning about contemporary psych-based treatment down into one chapter, and augmented it by a thorough expanation of why counseling from the Bible alone is more helpful in bringing about true transformation. No rabbit trails (no matter how fascinating) allowed.

It was still too "heavy". She told me to use more Scripture, quote Reformers and other writers less than I quote Christ, and above all "stop writing like a PhD - you're going to lose your audience." Good point. She instructed me to strive for a seventh grade reading level, which was excellent advice, as not every Christian lady struggling with an eating disorder has been to Bible college (or graduate school). My assignment? To re-write, and have several ladies read it and comment on clarity and "flow".

I enlisted my 8th-grade daughter's help. Valentina is a bright kid, but she's never been to seminary - nor has she studied psychology (although I suspect that is coming, as she is a public school student. Sigh). I do feel that my mission has been accomplished....having never yet looked at my book, or really knowing my thesis, she not only appeared to "get the point", but was able to articulate it well, too:

I think the author’s main point was to talk about Biblical counseling vs. the therapy or psycology that the world today uses in order to get rid of peoples’ problems. She was saying that you can’t deal with the addiction yourself, and the Biblical counselor can’t either, because he/she isn’t God. Only God can help you, and you have to repent from your sin in order to change. It’s not like God is just going to change you in one day. You have to work too, although only God can heal you from your addiction. However, the counselor is there to guide you and help you understand the Bible.

3. What do you remember BEST about the chapter? In other words, when you finished reading, what stood out in your mind the most?

When I finished reading the chapter, I remembered when you talked about how addictioons ARE NOT diseases, but they are sins, and we are sinners. People today try to blame everthing and anything on somebody else, because they are to prideful to admit that the addiction is their fault. So, they blame it on their childhood or genes in their body which obviously aren’t the reasons to an addiction.

Well put. Maybe I should just have her write this book.

"How Do I Change When I Have an Eating Disorder?"

Dear readers,

This morning I received the following question from a young lady who deeply and passionately loves the Lord Jesus, yet struggles to repent of anorexia. I am often asked this question in one way or another, and so I will post my response to her, in its entirety, below. She writes:

Hi Marie,
I know this is a really basic question, but once you saw your eating disorder as a sin and repented and died to self so Christ can live in you, how then did you actions change, did it happen all at once or was it still a process over time?

My response:

Well, first of all, to really understand what repentance is and how to implement biblical change (of the heart, which affects our actions), we have to realize that AS we confess something as sin (agree with God), concurrently our actions will change. Yes, it's a process in the sense we are NOT perfected overnight (sanctification is progressive), but neither are we honoring God if we sit back, take a passive role in our sanctification, and expect Him to mysteriously change us. There is an interplay between God's sovereign power (the Holy Spirit convicts and encourages the believer towards holiness) and our responsibility (we must actively work against sin in our lives). The two go together.

Let me give you an illustration of how this might look in the life of someone struggling with the sin of drunkenness. This was, in fact, a sin in my own life, which I turned away from at the same time as bulimia. Since alcohol is a more "black and white" issue than food addiction, it might help to clarify the principle.

If a Christian is enslaved to alcohol, the Holy Spirit convicts him that he is in sin. He does this through the Word of God, and impresses that drunkeness is disobedience to Him. The Christian agrees with God, gets on his knees, and begs God to grant him repentance. His sin is forgiven, Christ has paid it in full! Weak though He is, the Christian wants to honor God by his actions, and so he resolves to stop drinking. This is true repentance; he does not try to rationalize his drinking or strike bargains with God: 'I'll drink in moderation; I'll only have one on Friday nights.' He recognizes that he, personally, has become enslaved by this particular "lust of the flesh" and must forsake it.

Now, when he gets up off his knees, what must he do?

The next evening comes. He is tempted to drink. Does he say to himself, "Well, I'm the same man I was last night (true) with the same desire for a whiskey (also true). Since I still have this temptation, I may as well give in to it....clearly, Christ hasn't changed my heart yet. When He does, I'll just "yield" to Him and let Him have His way....but since I'm still weak, I'll just go have a drink. Anyway, I'm 'powerless' over this addiction. I cannot resist, so I'll just 'let go and let God'. When HE wants me to stop drinking, HE'll deliver me supernaturally!"

If this is the believer's understanding of repentance and he gives in to his temptation, goes down to the bar and gets drunk, he's going to wake up even more miserable than the day before. Plus, his faith in God and His power to save and sanctify will be even further eroded -- because He was not walking by the Spirit and determining in his heart to obey Christ's clear command.

What should he have done (besides pray and seek forgiveness)? Well, obviously he must not have any alcohol in the house. Leaving himself a constant temptation will make obedience harder. He, like all believers, "is called to holiness, and created in Christ Jesus to do good works" (Eph. 2:10). Secondly, he ought to identify those places and times of temptation to drink excessively, and plan to avoid them. "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you," (James 4:7). As he begins each day, he should "put on the full armor of God so that he can take his stand against the devil's schemes," (Eph. 6:11; emphasis mine). Putting on that spiritual armor starts as he reads the Bible, prays and asks God to renew his mind, but it doesn't stop there. How does he "take a stand against the devil's schemes" (temptation to sin by getting drunk)? By actively resisting it.

In John 14:15 and 14:21, the Lord Jesus Christ affirms that if we truly love Him, our actions will show it. Now, love for God is not defined by actions, (in other words, you could do 'good' things, but not necessarily love the Lord), but if our devotion to God is sincere, that will affect the way we act. If my kids love me, they will obey me. If our Christian repenting of drunkeness truly loves the Lord, he will obey Him - by making those tough lifestyle changes. Besides 'cutting off' the alcohol, it would be wise for him to tell a Christian brother of his struggle and commitment to sobriety ("confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed"; James 5:16). Accountabilty is often an important part of repenting from a life-dominating sin. By extension, seeking biblical counsel from an appropriate counselor or pastor may also be a part, but again, the counselor cannot change the individual. Doing the hard work of biblical change comes out of a pure desire for holiness, and is something that each person individually must walk out.

How, then, do we apply this to eating disorders?

Well, we certainly don't have to whomp up any warm, loving feelings towards God in order to desire to repent. He has graciously granted us conviction, and in His kindness is leading us to repentance (Romans 2:4). The change in heart attitude towards the sin of anorexia or bulimia should, ideally, go hand-in-hand with changes in behavior. This is true repentance, and although a child of God may fall many times, there is going to be an overall tendency of change and more healthful behavior (whether resisting the urge to binge or faithfully eating and digesting meals) as one walks in obedience.

The process might look like this:


1.) Conviction ==> hatred of sin

2.) Prayerful determination to forsake it (end cycle of binge/purge; stop starving one's self) (Phil. 3:19)

3.) Renewal of mind (rejection of idolatry/obsession with food) WHILE re-establishing healthy eating habits (Romans 12:2; 1 Cor. 6:19)

Naturally, one must faithfully stay in the Word (prayerfully read the Bible daily) to truly be transformed and have the mind of Christ; the verses I cited above are only examples and are by no means the final word or "magic verse" that will combat eating disorders!

True, biblical submission entails a very real and active committment to DO the things we know are pleasing to God -- whether it be throw away drug paraphanelia, avoid the bar, eat a nutritious meal, or abstain from a fat and sugar-laden binge. We turn TO Him in the moment of temptation, asking for His supernatural strength and to give us a holy hatred for our sin; but we simultaneously turn FROM the sinful behavior as an act of the will.

When I was still struggling with the temptation of bulimia, not only did I avoid going into Dunkin Donuts or McDonald's; I'd catch myself as soon as the thoughts of planning my next binge entered my mind (2 Cor. 10:5) and reject it. Before eating (remember, eating disorders are harder to overcome than other addictions because we MUST eat to live); I would plan what, realistically, I ought to eat for nourishment and how much. Seeking the Holy Spirit's help, I would then discipline myself to stick to that plan, so that I would not spiral into "binge mode". See? Thoughts, prayer and action all go together. You cannot isolate repentance from obedience.

Many Christians have a skewed view of sanctification, thinking that if they just "yield" or "submit" to Christ, He will automatically change them. Of course, we should be living lives of surrender and constantly be yielded to His will - that is the picture of joyful obedience - but it is by no means a passive process. We must take an active role in our sanctification and practice discipline (1 Cor. 9) if we are to bring about changes that are pleasing to God. See "Godliness Through Discipline" by Jay Adams for a more thorough discussion of what this looks like when the rubber hits the road. Praise God for His Spirit within you, Who "works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose" (Phil. 2:13)!

"To repent is not to stay in the pig trough and carry on indulging in sin." -- Pastor Kevin Williams
For an excellent discussion of what biblical repentance is and isn't, listen to Williams' sermon "A Biblical Definition of Repentance".

Kristie's Testimony - Free in Christ!

An online friend of mine suffered for several years from an eating disorder called "orthorexia". Like anorexia and bulimia, orthorexia starts as an unhealthy obsession with food, and became life-threatening. As Kristie says in her interview, God had a plan for her life and was able to miraculously restore relationships and her health.




Interesting in Part II (below) to hear a medical doctor admit eating disorders are not "medical disorders", but rather behaviors:



Psalm 103, which Kristie read with new eyes in the hospital, became her life verse:

"Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD,O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things" - Psalm 103

I completely agree with Rachel Ray and the doctor's "common-sense", all things in moderation approach. Let our minds be set on things above; not obsessing over food labels!

What Makes Anorexia a "Harder Case"?

Earlier this week, I was chatting with Martha Peace, who is working closely with me on my book and discussing revisions with me as we go. I very much consider her a mentor, and the depth of her experience in the biblical counseling field helps me to learn about how to best minister to young Christian ladies. (Not to mention, as a bestselling author, her writing suggestions are much appreciated)!

During the course of conversation, she mentioned a book she and several other recognized biblical counselors, including the brilliant Stuart Scott, are compiling on hard counseling cases. The topic on which Martha will write, for her contribution to the anthology, is anorexia nervosa. (Needless to say, I am looking forward to the book's release - I want to be as well-prepared as possible when I am a fully-certified NANC counselor).

Now, bulimia is quite a bit more common than anorexia, but this project is to zero in on the toughest cases of all.

This got me to thinking: why is it, exactly, that anorexics are more difficult counseling cases than bulimics? This was not a subject I got into in my own book - I did not focus on the differences too much between the two disorders, but rather dealt primarily with the root sins contributing to both behaviors. Moreover, most anorexics end up becoming bulimic at some point, anyway...it is much harder to continue to starve than it is to give in to the urge to eat, and then purge as an "escape hatch".

However, there are women who maintain anorexia long-term without ever giving in to bulimia. I have known of women to go well over a decade as anorexics, while their body tissues slowly disintegrate, still pursuing that elusive "thinness". This scenario is much rarer than the more common one: a low-to-average weight woman who binges and purges in secret, or an overweight lady who habitually overeats and cannot seem to moderate her eating habits.

What is it about anorexia that makes it harder to counsel? Here is my theory (and it is just that; my somewhat-educated opinion): the level of self-delusion in anorexia is deeper.

A bulimic knows that what she is doing is wrong. She feels shame constantly, even when she has been purging for so long her conscience is desensitized. Even before she seeks counseling, inwardly, she knows it is sinful to gorge and vomit up food. She knows the risks of laxative abuse, and is filled with disgust and self-loathing. She wants to stop the binge/purge cycle, but on the other hand is conflicted: 1) the frenzied act of eating/purging retains some sort of "reward" to her that she is reluctant to give up; B) she is deathly afraid of gaining weight. As with her anorexic sister, the bulimic has made weight her idol. Nevertheless, she rarely has any delusions that bingeing and purging is anything less than sinfully self-destructive.

The anorexic Christian, on the other hand, is less likely to really see her self-starvation as wrong. Anorexia seems the more "noble, stoic" of the two eating disorders -- after all, it takes enormous willpower to consistently refuse food. The anorexic is typically very proud of "overcoming" her baser human instinct - the need to eat for survival - and sees herself as of stronger, more self-controlled stock than other women. She has never eaten food only to "get rid of it"; what's the problem? she may reason.

Add to this the grossly distorted body image more common to anorexics, and you would have a hard time convinvcing them that they need to gain weight. I remember when I was anorexic in 11th grade, looking in the mirror (at 5'5" and 90 lbs.) and seeing a normal-weight girl. Interestingly, in photographs of myself I saw how emaciated I was; but anorexics do not see themselves realistically in "real time". For this reason, I highly recommend meeting with a nutritionist as well as a biblical counselor during the re-feeding process. A nutritionist provides an objective, science-based eating plan according to biological, nutritional needs. In my experience, this was helpful in giving me the confidence to eat nutritionally-balanced, if small, meals and to gain weight without freaking out.

A third reason anorexics may present tougher counseling cases than bulimics is the connection between asceticism and "religion". I use " " around the term 'religion' to distinguish this way of thinking from true, biblical Christianity. The ascetics were an ancient group that believed in subjugating the body (believing all matter to be evil, like the Gnostics) in an attempt to reach a higher level of 'spirituality'. This way of thinking was also rampant in Medieval Catholicism (see my post on 'holy anorexia' and the contemplative nuns of the Middle Ages) where flagellants and penitents would beat, starve, and sleep-deprive their bodies mercilessly as "penance".

The notion of "penance" is antithecal to the Gospel, which teaches repentance. Repentance is godly sorrow over sin; trusting in Christ's finished work on the Cross as atonement; and dependance on Him to turn away from the sin. Penance, on the other hand, is self-inflicted punishment or man's attempt to "make it up to God" by performing some act. This is the height of pride (thinking that we can add something to our redemption, on top of Christ's sacrifice); it is also a gross perversion of the true motivation for the spiritual disciplines (including fasting).

A Christian anorexic could easily justify her habit as "holy", by calling it a "fasted lifestyle". The secular media certianly reinforces this mindset, by glorifying women who successfully lose weight through "willpower" (the secular term for "self-control"). Self control is certainly a fruit of the Spirit, and fasting is something Christians are expected to do in seasons of intense prayer, but the anorexic mindset perverts them both. Although she is called, as a believer, to "put on the new self", she is in fact giving reign to vanity and self-absorbtion. Paul writes:

"Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God." (Colossians 3:1-3)

The anorexic's mind is most definitely not set on "the things above", nor is she walking in the Spirit. Her mind is set on the carnal desire for unnatural thinness and audulation; she ruminates about food day and night. Her lifestyle and habits "sow to the flesh" (Galations 6:8). However, it is much more difficult for her to see her true spiritual condition through the eyes of faith than it is for a bulimic, whose purgeing habit is more obviously sinful (gluttony; waste; destruction of the temple - 1 Corinthinas 6:19). Anorexia is just as grievous a sin against the body as bulimia is, but for these reasons I believe it can be harder to convince an anorexic that this is, indeed, the case.

What are your thoughts on this? I am especially interested in feedback from some of you ladies who are (or have been) struggling with anorexia. Do you see this as a life-dominating sin, or something that makes you "purer" (even if only in your own eyes)? Do you consider jeopardizing your health by self-starvation as wrong as overeating; or do you see it as "virtuous" (even if only secretly)?

Enter the Tabernacle with Eyes of Faith

(HT: Puritan Fellowship)

"Lord....have mercy on me, a sinner...
.....again."

Pastor Garrett Holthaus of Lakeside Road Chapel has just completed a 4-part sermon series on avoiding and conquering spiritual drift. I would really, really recommend it to you ladies, as you know first-hand how much of a stuggle it can be to return to the prayer closet when you battle a life-dominating sin such as an eating disorder.

A major cause of spiritual drift and taking our eyes of off Jesus is, of course, prayerlessness. This is especially true when we know we've sinned, and are too ashamed to face Him. I remember so well, even though it was so many years ago, feeling like a hypocrite for even attempting to repent (again)! The failure of the sin itself, coupled with the additional sin of prayerlessness, keeps us needlessly away from the Throne of grace. Holthaus says this:

"The only thing that keep sus from the Throne of grace is ourselves. If your sins can keep you from the presence of God, then it was your own rigteousness that got you there in the first place. In fact, it's when we've sinned that we need most to draw near to God."

He quotes Octavious Winslow (a Puritan preacher I've just recently discovered who wrote more on the nature of divine love than anything else):

"Learn to take your guilt as it comes, and your corruption as it rises, directly and simply to Jesus. Do not allow the guilt of sin to remain long upon the conscience. The moment there is the slightest consciousness of a wound received, take it to the blood of Christ. The moment a mist dims the eye of faith so that you cannot see clearly the smile of your Father's face, take it that instant to the blood of atonement. Let there be no distance between God and your soul. Sin separates; but sin immediately confessed, mourned over, and forsaken brings God and the soul together in sweet, close and holy fellowship. Oh, the oneness of God and the believer in the sin-pardoning Christ; who can know it? Only he who has experienced it. To cherish, then, the abiding sense of this holy, loving oneness, the believer must build his house in the fountain [of Christ's blood]. He must wash daily in the bronze lavar that is outside the Holy Place; then, entering in within the veil, he may draw near to the Mercy Seat and ask whatever he will of Him Who dwells between the cherabim ."

Holthaus concludes, "You don't go as a criminal goes before a judge; you go to Him as a child goes to a Father."

Keep that message in mind, as you face another day...perhaps your first one of prayerful repentance.

Bulimia, "bi-polar", and the viscious cycle of meds

Something I have noticed in my ministry to Christian women with eating disorders is the high frequency with which well-meaning doctors medicate them - either with anti-depressants (the futility of which I've discussed before), bi-polar medication, or both. All this tends to do is make the patient physically dependent upon these chemicals (which may or may not affect her symptoms), while further convincing her that the life-dominating sin of bulimia is actually a "disease".

A few words about "bi-polar disorder" - it's the current diagnosis du jour. Years ago, people with severe mood swings were termed "manic-depresives", whereas now the label "bi-polar" has been expanded to include virtually anyone who has trouble coping and staying on an even keel. Although no laboratory tests are done, patients are routinely medicated and told they have a "mental illness" whenever they display the tell-tale signs: erratic behavior; depressison; bouts of (usually compensatory) high-energy behavior; lack of concentration. In fact, a friend of mine who is already a certified NANC counselor told me that of her adult counselees, more than half have been given a diagnosis of "bi-polar". Bi-polar disorder has become, for adults, what ADHD has become for children: an excuse to push more drugs.

If I used to believe bi-polar was a legitimate medical condition, I no longer do.

What does this have to do with bulimia? A lot. I strongly suspect that doctors are reading a correlation into the incidence of bulimia and bi-polar, based on two tell-tale symptoms: depression and a short attention span. To me, both as a counselor who has spent the last several years doing extensive research, and more importantly as a former bulimic, the reason for these two "symptoms" should be patently obvious - they are caused by the bulimic behavior, NOT by some mysterious, secondary "mental illness" which needs additional medication!

Let's start with the depression. I have never yet met a bulimic, Christian or non, who is not depressed (or at the very least convicted) about her behavior. The obsession over food, weight, and all things related grows; the bulimic instinctively knows she has lost control, and to put it in biblical terms, she is a slave to sin. I have quoted this before and I'll do so again: "There is no creature on earth more miserable than a disobedient Christian." Even a non-believer will eventually become depressed if she is mired in an eating disorder - she will lose friends, progressively isolate herself in a veil of secrecy from those she loves, and eventually see her health adversely affected. Bulimia also wreaks havoc on the endocrine system, which regulates hormones (I did not have a single period for over four years). The effects of ths on mood are well-established. The knowledge that she is sinning, if she is a believer, will cause conviction if her conscience is not seared, which will intensify her depression. Lastly, the spiking and plummeting blood sugar levels each time she binges and purges will cause wild mood swings.

Likewise, a bulimic has a notoriously short attention span. The reasons for this are both physical and non - the fluctuating blood sugar levels impact concentration as well as mood. Ever hear the advice not to feed children a sugary breakfast before school? There's a reason for that - sudden drops in blood sugar always lead to poor concentration. Add to that the fixation on food that is constantly running through the bulimic's mind and you can see why the attention span is almost non-existent. A "tape" loops again and again, re-playing the next binge; the next "fix" - providing an ever-present background noise to her conscious thoughts. She is scattered, jumpy, and emotionally erratic.

By the way, when I stopped purging and started digesting regular, well-balanced meals six years ago, one of the very first changes I noticed was a dramatic increase in both my physical energy AND my ability to concentrate for prolonged periods of time. Within as little as two weeks, the difference was amazing. Although I did not write my book manuscript until 5 years after I was recovered, immediately I found I was able to stay focused on studying or performing any task as the eating disorder became history. "Renewing the mind" is certainly a deliberate, spiritual discipline, but there is a physical component too - it's the way God designed our bodies. If you eat healthfully, you will feel better and your brain will (obviously) function better. There are enzymes released when certain foods are consumed that contribute to a stable mood and overall sense of well-being (serotonin and tryptophan among them). When you purge, the damage done to your body's systems (electrolyte imbalances; dramatic blood sugar fluctuations) will ultimately impact your brain chemistry.

You won't feel well, and you won't function at peak capacity. BECAUSE OF THE BULIMIA. It has nothing to do with "bi-polar", and you don't need to take more drugs (which will become increasingly difficult to stop, as you build up a chemical dependancy upon them). You need to start eating (and digesting) healthy meals - and asking the Holy Spirit to help you renew your mind.

You don't have a mental or "emotional" disorder - your emotions are working just fine. That's why you might feel like you need a drug - to numb them. The best way to FIX the problem, and thus overcome ALL of these symptoms - like fluctuating energy levels, depression and short attention span - is to decide today to turn away from the bulimia. It's a self-centered lifestyle that will lead to death (see my post "How do I repent from bulimia?" for more advice). Stop hiding in the bi-polar/mental illness smokescreen, and recognize bulimia for what it really is: a soul-destroying, life-sucking sin. Sin has only one solution, and it isn't Amitriptylene.

What Made the Last Time...the Last?

A reader just raised the question in Monday's comment box "What was special about May 10 [2004]?" She was curious as to what made that particular day my last one as a bulimic.

The answer to that question deserves a bit more space than I could devote to it in comments, so I'll try and address it here. To begin with, there was nothing particularly special about that day; my process of repentance and God's grace in setting me free from this life-dominating sin had actually begun months earlier. For background info, here is my testimony of how God freed me.

To explain how and why the bulimia ended completely on May 10, 2004, I will try and sketch an outline of the events of the months leading up to that day - most of which I cover in my testimony. After the birth of my third child in the summer of 2003, I returned not only to my binge/purge habits in full force, but also to the Friday/Saturday night ritual of whiskey with my husband. He has never had a drinking problem; I've only had one as long as I've been drinking. I loved being buzzed. I enjoyed being drunk. It allowed me to escape from the reality of who I was - a backslidden, hypocritical professing Christian with an eating disorder- for a few hours at a time.

Then the next morning reality hit with a pounding headache, and I'd seek solace in food while my husband was at work. And on it went.

Somewhere between 2002-03, I tried several times to come back to God; to tell Him I loved Him and wanted to change. I'd always fail. I could never go more than a day or two at a time without bingeing and purging, and each weekend I'd convince myself that I could drink "moderately". Failure and shame were my constant companions. In late 2003, (November/December), I went to a local "Healing Room" (intercessory prayer room at a local charismatic church) and confessed these life-dominating sins to complete strangers. They prayed. I wept. God forgave. I went 8 days - the longest period in 16 years - without bingeing or purging. (Or drinking.) I felt a brand-new emotion: hope.

Some Friday night in December I got drunk and woke up Saturday with a hangover. I hated myself and thought God was angry or, at the very least disappointed in me, but I desperately wanted His love and to be forgiven. I drove back to the prayer room...where I was told (without my saying anything) that God wanted me to know He was not angry at me; He was not disappointed in me; and that He loved me so much.

Disclaimer: I am (now) a cessationist. I firmly and staunchly uphold the sufficiency of Scripture and do NOT believe in private revelation. If that word was a form of 'prophecy' in terms of 'speaking forth the Word', I don't know. Maybe they were guessing. I don't know that, either. All I know is that God hears the prayer of a righteous man (or woman), and these Christian ladies loved God and loved me. The other thing I know is that day in late December '03 marked the beginning of my true turn-around.

When I walked out into the parking lot, I felt clean, forgiven, and joyful. The phrase "Live up to what you've already attained" came to my heart, although I didn't then know where it was in the Bible. (It's Philippians 3:16 for those who are keeping track. Did I mention I am a cessationist?)

I never took a drink again after that day; all desire had left me. (Which isn't to say the thought or fleeting temptation never passed through my mind again; I simply mean it was much easier to resist). The bulimia, however, did not leave so quickly. I would go, on average, a week or so before I would give in to the urge - for whatever reason - to binge and purge again. However, even in my failure, I held out hope - if, after over a decade of purging several times per day I could make it a week, there MUST be hope I could leave it behnd permanently! There were many tearful prayers and much pleading with God from the floor of my bedroom...and I would get back up.

February 2004 was a rocky month. I remember slipping up more often, and thinking I was headed back into the eating disorder permanently. At my daughter's birthday party, and I gave in to the pepperoni pizza....and gave in to the temptation to purge. Odd how that stands out in my mind. There were several other incidents that month, and I recall nearly giving up. But I didn't....I went back to the prayer room and allowed others to intercede. Again.

To emphasize, nothing magical, mystical, ecstatic or otherwise dramatic ever happened in the prayer room. It was NOT a "deliverance" in the sense the word is commonly (and erroneously) used. Two or three other women were praying with and for me for healing as I repented, and then I'd go home...and stay in the Word. I lived on my knees, and studied my Bible every day. I learned what true biblical repentance was, and what grace looked like. Luke 15 reassured me of the Father's love, and Romans 2:4 cemented it for me. I felt Jesus closer than I ever had in my life, and I depended upon Him moment by moment. The caring, fellowship and intercession of the ladies at the Pentecostal church just helped all the more - Galatians 6:2 exhorts us to carry one another's burdens, and this is what these sisters did for me. I also credit them for helping me grow in intimacy with the Lord, doctrinal differences aside. Those matters seem to fade in importance when we gaze in adoration at our Savior.

February gave way to March, and with the coming of Spring new life seemed imminent. There must have been binge/purge episodes on occassion during those months, although honestly I can't remember anything in particular. I think I remember 2 weeks being a huge milestone of abstinence. Or was it 3? I don't remember. I remember really getting into Max Lucado's "Experiencing the Heart of Jesus", and rejoicing when everybody was out of the house and I had a few hours with Him alone (Jesus; not Max Lucado).

May came. The cravings were less and less frequent by now (I do believe bulimia alters your brain chemistry because of the endorphin rush of the binge; but it can be normalized once you go through "withdrawal" and don't give in to those urges). I had put on weight, but it didn't bother me. I truly had, for the first time in my Christian life, the joy of the Lord they sing about in songs. One afternoon, I must have been under stress or something....I did it. I gave in to my old habit, and stopped for a secretive "fix" at Honeydew Donuts. I think I bought half a dozen muffins - I remember at least one of them was pistachio. Pistachio muffins are good; nothing against them, but why are bakery muffins as big as your head? I couldn't eat a whole one now if you paid me.) Well, on May 10, 2004 I binged on a whole bunch of them, and after "getting rid" of them, I felt...

That was dumb. That was the most useless thing in the whole world. I didn't need to do that. That was a complete waste of time and money. I just really didn't need to do that - I don't HAVE to do that anymore. That verse about 'not being a slave to sin' - it's actually true. I don't feel enslaved to bingeing crazily on food and purging it anymore...it just doesn't do anything for me. I got no pleasure out of that whatsoever.

It was sheer habit, and that habit had been broken. I don't know if you've ever been a smoker, but I used to be one. Only problem was, every time I'd get pregnant, I'd have to quit (I may have been a lousy, crummy drunk bulimic smoker, but hey, at least I was a submissive wife). After Baby #2, almost a year after having weaned myself off the smokes, I go out on the deck and light one up - just because I "can", and I am far too Irish to give in without a fight.

Do you know what happens when you inhale, deeply, on a Marlboro after not having smoked in 11 months? You cough uncontrollably. Your eyes water and your head spins. You gag, cough some more, and nearly throw up. (But you keep working at it, because, after all, it's your habit and you're entitled to it, by golly!) Once the habit has been broken - physically and/or psychologically, it just doesn't bring you the same "pleasure", no matter how fleeting. It just leaves you vaguely disgusted, and rather bored with the whole thing.

So that was the last time I did it. I already knew it was a stupid and useless crutch, but this time, I knew it down to my core. All those verses about being a new creation didn't immediately come to mind, but my experience finally matched my theology - I simply was a new person in Christ, with new desires and habits. One of those new habits was immediately turning to Him when I felt stress, anger, sadness or rejection - which previously would have driven me to the food. I had practiced "putting off" the gluttony and "putting on" prayer and thanksgiving for so many months that by the time May 10 rolled around, it was second nature. When I failed by giving in to my "old" nature, I saw it for the useless stupidity it really was.

That may have been a bit longer than you wanted, but I hope it answered your question!

Six Years Today Free of Bulimia...and a Few Good Quotes!

Today is the six-year anniversary of the last time I binged and purged, although I rarely keep track anymore. Far too much to do living for Christ's glory and helping those He's sent me to dwell on the past....and I hope the same will be true in your life soon, as well.

Here are a few quotations from well-known servants of Christ that a reader sent me. I hope that you will be able to draw application to your own walk with God from them.

On gluttony:

"Luxury and gluttony is a sin exceeding contrary to the love of God: it is idolatry: it hath the heart, which God should have; and therefore gluttons are commonly and well called belly-gods, and god-bellies, because that love, that care, that delight, that service and diligence which God should have is given by the glutton to his belly and his throat." --- RICHARD BAXTER, English Puritan and writer

Our surrender and God's deliverance:

"Deliverance can come to us only by the defeat of our old life. Safety and peace come only after we have been forced to our knees. God rescues us by breaking us, by shattering our strength and wiping out our resistance." -- A. W. TOZER

On true repentance:

"True repentance has a distinct and constant reference to the Lord Jesus Christ. If you repent of sin without looking to Christ, away with your repentance. If you are so lamenting your sin as to forget the Savior, you have a need to begin all this work over again. Whenever we repent of sin, we must have one eye upon sin and another upon the cross; or, better still, let us have both eyes upon Christ, seeing our sin punished in him, and by no means let us look at sin except as we look at Jesus. A man may hate sin just as a murder hates the gallows but this does not prove repentance. If I hate sin because of the punishment, I have not repented of sin; I merely regret that God is just.

But if I can see sin as an offense against Jesus Christ, and loathe myself because I have wounded him, then I have a true brokenness of heart. If I see the Savior and believe that those thorns upon his head were put there by my sinful words; if I believe that those wounds in his heart were made by my heart-sins; if I believe that those wounds in his feet were made by my wandering steps, and that the wounds in his hands were made by my sinful deeds, then I repent after a right fashion. Only under the cross can you repent. Repentance elsewhere is remorse, which clings to the sin and only dreads the punishment. Let us then seek, under God, to have a hatred of sin caused by a sight of Christ's love.

...Go as you are to Christ, and ask him to give that tenderness of heart which shall be to you the indication that pardon has come; for pardon cannot and will not come unattended by a melting of soul and a hatred of sin. Wrestle with the Lord! Say, I will not let you go except you bless me. Get a fast hold upon the savior by a vigorous faith in his great atonement. Oh! May his spirit enable you to do this! Say in your soul, here I will abide, at the horns of the altar; if I perish I will perish at the foot of the cross. From my hope in Jesus I will not depart; but I will look up and still say, savior, your heart was broken for me, break my heart! You were wounded; wound me! Your blood was freely poured forth, for me; Lord, let me pour forth my tears that I should have nailed you to the tree. Oh Lord, dissolve my soul; melt it in tenderness, and you will be forever praised for making your enemy your friend. May God bless you, and make you repent, if you have not repented; and if you have, may he enable you to continue in it all your days, for Jesus Christ sake. Amen." -- CHARLES SPURGEON

Can Bulimia be Caused by Demonic Activity?

In a word, no.

The following is a brief synopsis from Jay Adams regarding how we may be sure, Biblically, that a believer cannot be possessed (or "oppressed") by a demon. Note: while I do not completely agree with Dr. Adams' amillennial views, including the teaching that Satan is currently bound and therefore demonic activity during the Church era is non-existent, he is certainly correct in that addictions and life-dominating sins are not due to such possession. I have counseled many women who actually believe they are inhabited by "demonic forces" compelling them to starve/purge/cut, but this is nothing more than an esoteric dodge of personal responsibility.

Yes, Satan is ultimately at the root of all sin; and eating disorders are certainly sins of both thought and behavior. However, demon possession in the Gospels was a malady - Christ cast them out as a ministry of mercy. Where sin was involved, He called men and women to repent. His answer to habitual or besetting sin is the same now as it was during His earthly ministry. There is absolutely no Scriptural warrant for attributing addictions or strongholds of sin to demonic forces.

"There is no Biblical reason to think that demonic possession (or oppression) can occur in the life of a Christian. The simultaneous presence of the Holy Spirit, Who dwells within every true child of God, and an "unclean spirit" is impossible. This is clear from the utter antithesis of the two noted in Mark 3:20-30.....I have seen incompetence in counseling excused by resorting to the diagnosis of possession by demons, sometimes with very damaging effects. If, for example, one's problems are the result of his own sinful behavior, and they are instead charged to possession by an evil spirit, those problems may be complicated rather than solved by efforts to cast out a demon. Not only will such efforts fail, leading often to hopelessness and despair, but they will shift the focus from the counselee's own responsibility. He will be viewed as a helpless victim rather than a guilty sinner. The results are likely only to confirm him in his sinful life patterns, and the frustrations of counselors who are reduced to fruitless prayer and pity are likely to encourage deeper depression and even despair." (Jay Adams, "The Big Umbrella", currently out of print)

While I do believe demons still hold an active influence over this world, tempt believers to sin and believe lies, and can inhabit non-Christians, they cannot compel anyone to start or stay stuck in an addiction (despite what Nancy Alcorn claims). If we follow the Biblical model, we have to take responsibility for our own behavior before God - and stop giving the enemy so much credit.

Also see my posts on true spiritual warfare, and why "deliverance ministries" are not biblical:
http://redeemedfromthepit.blogspot.com/2009/10/watchmans-bagpipes-real-spiritual.html
http://redeemedfromthepit.blogspot.com/2009/11/did-you-know-more-about-deliverance.html

My Worst Enemy, Bulimia...My Best Friend, Jesus Christ

This is a wonderful little table I got from an online community for bulimics I used to moderate (before I got kicked out for being a biblical counselor, ironically enough). As you consider and "count the cost" of leaving bulimia behind, contemplate the riches of His grace and joy of His fellowship.

My Worst Enemy, Bulimia	My Best Friend, Jesus Christ
1. Temporarily numbs pain, but never satisfies	1. He comforts and soothes me with His love
	Psalm 7:9: For he satisfieth the longing soul and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.
	Isaiah 53:4: Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
2. Makes promises it can’t keep	2. Jesus is faithful and never changes
	Mal. 3:6: For I am the Lord, I change not
	Psalm 37:5: Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust in Him; and he shall bring it to pass.
3. Gives me guilt and shame for all my efforts	3. The Lord justifies=declared righteous=not guilty 2 Cor. 5:17 if any man be in Christ he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.
	Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit
4. Lies to keep me chained a. tells me I’m fat; ugly b. dirty, shameful, no good	4. Jesus wants us to walk in freedom and calls me His child; loves me (Psalm 139) John 8:32: And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free. Luke 4:18: He hath sent me to heal the broken-hearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.
5. Wants to claim my life	5. Jesus wants to change my life and use me for His glory 1 John 4:10: Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:4b: Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.

Food Addiction: Symptom, Not Disease

Ladies, I was just reading a message of John Piper's from the Desiring God resource library, and came across an excellent point I would like to share with you to encourage you.

In Piper's 2008 sermon, "A Broken and Contrite Heart God Will Not Despise", he discusses the godly sorrow and repentance that should typify a Christian as we see it in Psalm 51. King David recognized and sorrowed over his sin, and went through the steps of genuine repentance. He knew God was gracious and would forgive him, but that did not prompt him to presume on God's grace (which was, in fact, evident even under the Old Covenant). David turns to God, he prays for cleansing, he confesses the seriousness of his sin, and finally he pleads for renewal. As Piper succinctly states, "Forgiven people are committed to being changed by God." I encourage you to read the whole message, and pray through Psalm 51 yourself as you allow God to cleanse and renew you from your bulimia and other personal sin.

However, Piper made an excellent point towards the conclusion, which I would like to point out to you. If you are still in the throes of an eating disorder, there is a direct application, so bear with me.

Psalm 51 was David's penitential heart cry after his adultery with Bathsheba was found out, and the prophet Nathan confronted him. Yet, as Piper points out, not once does the psalm mention sexual sin.

Read the following, and substitute "bulimia" or "food addiction" for "sexual sin", and you will see where I'm going with this:

Is it not astonishing that nowhere in this Psalm does he pray directly about sex? It all started with sex, leading to deceit, leading to murder. Or did it? I don’t think so. Sigmund Freud may think that all our hang-ups start with sex. But David (speaking for God) does not see things that way.

Sexual Sin: Symptom, Not Disease

Why isn’t he crying out for sexual restraint? Why isn’t he praying for men to hold him accountable? Why isn’t he praying for protected eyes and sex-free thoughts? The reason is that he knows that sexual sin is a symptom, not the disease. People give way to sexual sin because they don’t have the fullness of joy and gladness in Christ. Their spirits are not steadfast and firm and established. They waver. They are enticed, and they give way because God does not have the place in our feelings and thoughts that he should.

David knew this about himself. It’s true about us too. David is showing us, by the way he prays, what the real need is for those who sin sexually. Not a word in this psalm about sex. Instead: “Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. . . . Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing, firm, established spirit.” This is profound wisdom for us.

(John Piper, "A Broken and Contrite Heart God Will Not Despise", emphasis mine.)

Last night, I received an e-mail from a young Christian lady to whom I had sent my book manuscript in order to help her learn how to fully repent of her bulimia and allow God to renew her mind. She wrote, "I am scared because the more I read the more I seem to want to eat." This makes perfect sense, given where she currently is spiritually: when we've given in to a counterfeit "lust of the flesh" and gotten used to it (and food can clearlybe a "lust of the flesh", as surely as sexual lust is), our brains need re-programming. The spirit may indeed be willing, but the flesh is still so weak.

That is exactly why we need Christ.

To quote Piper elsewhere in the sermon: "We know more of the mystery of this redemption than David did. We know Christ. But we lay hold of the mercy in the same way he did. The first thing he does is turn helpless to the mercy and love of God. Today that means turning helpless to Christ."

You cannot simply "clean up your act" and turn from your unhealthy relationship with food, in your own strength, so that God will accept and be pleased with you. You cannot redeem yourself to the Redeemer. That would defeat the whole purpose of repentance, and negate the ongoing reality of a Christian's "brokenhearted joy". It is only by throwing yourself upon the mercy of Jesus, your all-loving, merciful and understanding Savior, that you may begin to replace the counterfeit and fleeting satisfaction of "lusts of the flesh" with deep and abiding joy in His Person.

All addictions have the same root. All are spiritual sicknesses, pointing up man's greatest need: salvation and forgiveness. When our joy and satisfaction is not found in Christ, we will seek it elsewhere. And inevitably, like David, we will fall. Praise God for His unfathomable mercy and limitless grace! May we never presume upon it, or lose our sense of awe and joy in His power to set us free.

Remember, it is not about the food. It was never about the food. It is about seeing and savoring God for Who He really is, and clinging to the hem of His garnment moment by moment. "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)